- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
Hello bees! I’m in desperate need of some advice. I keep changing my mind and it’s time to make a decision.
I’m blessed to have 4 wonderful girls that were clear choices for my bridesmaids. 3 will be long-time friends from grade school and one will be my cousin. However, I’m having some anxiety over the Maid/Matron of Honor issue.
Friend #1 and I have been best friends since we were very young. Our relationship has always been more like sisters than friends with times where we are very close and others where we aren’t. I was the Maid/Matron of Honor at her wedding (almost 10 years ago) and she introduced me to my FH. Currently, she’s encountered some large life-changes and while we’re still there for each other we’re in very different places in our lives currently. We don’t spend a ton of time together but are still close. However, she’s very tied up with these life-changes (divorce, selling her house, etc.) and was just recently her sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor (which was stressful).
Friend #2 and I were not as close when we were younger but have become progressively more and more close. She’s been endlessly supportive of FH and me. She and her Darling Husband live out of town (in a neighboring city) but we still see them often. We’re in the same place in our lives and she’s been very enthusiastic, supportive, and helpful with the wedding. She’s also a very positive and calming influence on me, which I know I’ll need for the big day!
Here’s the problem– who should I choose as my MOH? I feel like friend #1 will be hurt if I don’t choose her since I was hers, she introduced me to FH, etc. I know it would mean a lot to her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor even though we’re not currently as close as we once were. However, she has a lot of major life changes happening right now and I wonder if she’ll be as enthusiastic. A wedding is such a minor thing compared wtih divorce, selling a house, and essentially starting over. I’d like to choose friend #2 but she lives out of town (which wouldn’t be that big of an issue, she’s very close with all my other BMs). That and hurting friend #1 are really the only down sides.
Ultimately, I’m hoping that since all my girls are close they’ll all be happy to do and plan things together. It’s really just the title of Maid/Matron of Honor. I’ve had the thought that I should have friend #2 as my “matron of honor” and friend #1 as my “maid of honor”. But with only 4 BMs is that too much? FH’s response was “yeah, why don’t you rank your friends some more?” 😛 I’ve also thought I should ask my cousin to be my Maid/Matron of Honor just to have a family member and eliminate the issue. I’d be just as happy to have her (or any of my girls) next to me. But she lives very far away and wouldn’t be able to be here until right before the wedding. So she’d really just be standing next to me and the other girls would still be doing all the planning. I’m not worried about anyone being able to do “work” really. I just don’t want to hurt feelings!
So what do you think, bees? Friend #1, Friend #2, both, or cousin?