Post # 1
This is my first time posting in Weddingbee, so I hope I am doing this right :). I need some advice from other wedding “bee’rs” on a dilemma I am facing for my Maid/Matron of Honor. I was engaged in July 2012, and my wedding is November 2nd, 2013. I have been delaying asking my bridal party, because I am so heart stricken on who to select to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
I am having 9 people in my wedding, and so is my fiancee. So a pretty big bridal party! Is it completely out of line, to have 3 MOHs???? I am an only child, and do not have an immediate sister I can have be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I have three best friends, who are literally like my sisters. They all are truly my best friends, and I can’t imagine just picking one. Initally after I got engaged, I thought it would just “come” to me….but 4 months later, it isn’t. And now I absolutely need to decide and start asking the girls.
I think about it all day, every day. It is making me depressed and I am losing sleep– the thought of picking just one of them, seems almost impossible. I have considered every one of them, and it just comes down that it stresses me out so much. I know I have the chance of runining friendships of chosing just one.
SO, sorry for blabbing! I want your opinions, is it crazy to have 3 MOH?! I would have 6 bridesmaids, and 3 Maid/Matron of Honor. I considered almost having none– and just having all bridesmaids too. I don’t want to look crazy and need some true advice if this is just preposterous
Post # 3
I would say go for it! Who cares what others might think/say. I think its awesome that you want to honour these special ladies in your life 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I would have none before I would have 3– with 3 MOH’s you’re looking at too many chiefs and not enough indians. I think making them all share the responsibility is more trouble than it’s worth.
What I would recommend is ask all of them to be in your wedding party, then take them all out to lunch, or send them all a personal note saying that choosing 1 of them has been too difficult and you’d like them to please help you make the decision. See who has the most flexible schedule, the least personal stuff going on, whatever they want to use to decide who should be the Maid/Matron of Honor. My sister in law did that for her wedding where it was me and her 2 sisters. She couldn’t choose between all of us, so she asked us to decide. I was already the Maid/Matron of Honor for a wedding the month before theirs, and one of her sister’s just started a brand new job and likely wouldn’t have the flexibility to take time off for wedding related appointments, etc. So we elected the other sister to be the MOH– she as thrilled, and everyone was happy. It worked out perfect.
Post # 5
@juliette.eliza: I really like the idea about figuring out who is most interested/available to help and take on the responsibility. You may find that some of the ladies don’t want the extra responsibility. This could at least be a good starting point!
Post # 6
It’s your wedding – Have 3!!! BUT! I would divide the duties accordingly 1 will do the bridal shower, 1 will be in charge of the bachlorette, 1 will do the day of duties, or something like that. They can decide for themselves who does what (but it would be better if you chose) but you want only 1 person as the ring leader for each of these events.
Post # 7
Thank you all so much for your advice! I really appreciate it! I am going to think about it this weekend and make some decisions. This is so important, you guys are the best!
Post # 8
No problem 🙂 Let us know how things turn out.
And welcome to the Bee btw!
Post # 9
It is your wedding so you can do whatever you want! 3 Maid/Matron of Honor with 9 total Bridesmaid or Best Man sounds like a good ratio anyway!
Post # 10
I have a friend who is a twin, and the twins basically share a best friend. So when their best friend got married, the twins assumed they would both be a Maid/Matron of Honor. But the friend thought that she couldn’t have two MOH’s, so she chose someone else. Both of the twins were a little hurt and confused.
Moral of the story: I think it’s fine to have 3 MOH’s, especially if those three girls are close with each other too. Because the only weird part is who will plan certain events. But if the three girls are friends, then I don’t see a problem!
Post # 11
If all 3 girls get along and work well together, it could probably work.
Also, is anyone going to be offended if you pick 1 girl to hold your bouquet, give a speech, etc? Just make sure the “duties” and/or privelages are all even so no one gets upset or offended. I think 3 Maid/Matron of Honor might cause headaches.
Personally, I would rather have no Maid/Matron of Honor than 3, but that’s just me.
Post # 12
I know this is late but As someone who is a twin and had to suffer through a similar story miss blue whale posted about I would have much rather have been 1 of 2 MOH’s if it meant being in my best friends wedding who was like a sister to us both but she instead chose someone else she hardly knew just to not pick between us. It made us both so sad and a bit angry so 3 is better I think because sharing the responsibilities is a huge weight off of one persons shoulders.