(Closed) Need opinions about not inviting kids to my wedding

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Kids are definitely one of those “you know your family best” situations. We drew the line at 21 – our reception is at a microbrewery so it just seems appropriate.

We included a note on our wedding website (in the FAQ section) that said “due to the nature of our venue, we unfortunately will not be allowed to invite those under the age of 21. If you need assistance in locating chlid care, please contact us”. If someone actually contacts us I have no effing clue what we’ll do, ha!

Also word of mouth has been very helpful.

I do think it would be a little impolite to specifically not invite someone in your invitation.

Post # 4
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Don’t invite them if you don’t want them there.

If you want to go the insert route, I’d include an insert that indicates you are providing childcare if parents would like to bring their child 12 or under. I would not phrase it with the conditional about finding a babysitter. Just extend the service and request confirmation if someone needs the childcare.

I agree with PP that to specifically say that children aren’t invited is rude.

Post # 5
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Our invitation says “adult reception immediately following”…our guests shouldnt need further explanation. Butttt I’m sure we wil get a question or two. It’s one night and we have a budget…that’s the bottom line. 

Post # 7
231 posts
Helper bee

it depends on what’s most important to you – not wanting kids there or wanting people to be able to come.

I know a lot of people who would be offended/not able to make it if their kids weren’t allowed. They’re part of the family too, and weddings are family events traditionally. Yes, it is your day and you can do what you want, but that’s the reality of how many people will feel.

So if you’re ok with people who won’t be able to make it, go for it. Otherwise I’d offer childcare.

Post # 8
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@krm1259:  Fi and I are in the same situation, and the only kids we’re having are grandkids (who are all teeenagers or infants).  We don’t have the space for kids.  In addition, we both have huge families, so although we are inviting all of the aunts and uncles, we are only inviting cousins that we actually have regular contact with (if we invited all of our first cousins, that would be an additional 60+ people).  Finally, most of my friends with small kids don’t want to bring them anyway, and the one person who tries to drag her kids everywhere has little hellions, so I have no problem telling her that we’re only inviting adults.

Post # 9
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014


                    Our venue is at a Casino, everyone knows its a 19+ venue. We are having it in a kids friendly section of the venue but we’ve made it an Adult Only Reception. Everyone we have told so far has said “Yes! a night out for the adults, can’t wait to get a babysitter and party”. Even adults need time out without the kids and its one night. They love their kids, but most mom’s have said its been a while since they’ve had a night out and are actually excitied.

Your venue is offering child care services which is great. If you don’t want kids there than don’t. Its your wedding, your day and if you want a 12+ wedding than do that. 

Post # 10
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

In my experience of receiving invites, if you dont write “and family” on the invite, that means that the Mr. and Mrs are only invited.  So for example if you write “Mr. and Mrs Smith” only, it automatically says that the children are not invited.  If you want to invite one child you can go as “Mr. and Mrs Smith and Tom” for example.


Post # 12
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It’s your wedding and you can invite (or not invite) whoever you want. Don’t worry about offending people – someone is always going to be upset about SOMETHING. You can’t please everyone and it’s not worth trying to do so.

If you have a “cut off” age, just state on the invite (or an insert):

“Children ages 12 and older are welcome at the ceremony and reception. Child care for those who are younger will be provided at X place.”

Or if you don’t want any kids there at all, just state:

“The bride and groom have requested that all guests be over the age of 18 (or 21). Child care will be available for children ranging in ages from ? – ? at X place.”

Post # 13
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It took longer, but well worth it.  Our RSVP cards are as follows: 




                              Will Attend    Will Not Attend       Beef    Chicken      Vegan




Mr.   X.




Mrs    X




TThs wording makes it clear who is invited and invitations are NOT Transferable




Post # 14
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

This is your wedding and it completely up to you. I know this has been a hot button topic in the past. We are not having children there and we have add at the bottom of our invitations “we wish your children sweet dreams on our wedding night” to pleasantly let people know that we do love their children but do not feel that tehy should be at our wedding. I really just don’t want a toddler screaming as a walk down the aisle or to have little kids picking the cneterpieces that I spent lots of money on or making a mess of the table clothes and chair covers because if tehy are stained I have to pay for them.

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