Post # 1
So a little background first, my friend introduced me to her cousin almost a year ago because we were both looking for a relationship. I was extremely busy and couldn’t really date at the time so we didn’t actually meet in person until last month. We had been communicating through text message and Facebook. We really started talking a lot about 3 months ago and then finally met and we fell completely in love with each other. He proposed to me about 2 weeks ago and bought me an engagement ring which he gave to me Friday. We haven’t told our families yet because it just happened so quickly and we’re not sure how everyone will react to it. We aren’t planning on getting married anytime soon because we both have goals with our lives that we want to accomplish first. We have only been officially dating for a month but have been talking for a while did we rush into this too quickly? I believe in my heart that this is the right thing to do but I’m also scared of family members reactions to it. Has anyone else been in a similar situation an how did it work out? Also I am almost 29 years old and my fiancé is 24 so we’re not young and naive.
Post # 2
Is_this_a_dream: I have two sets of good friends that were engaged after speaking long distrance for a few months and then only actually knowing each other in person for a few more months. I will say that personally, one month, seems like an awfully short time period to get to know someone in person. I’ve been with my fiance almost four years and I still have times when he surprises me about something.
You are likely going to get a lot of opinions on this that it’s too soon, but only you and your fiance know that for sure. I would strongly suggest a long engagement if you have that option to get to know each other but stranger things have happened then two people getting engaged in a month and being together forever. The most important thing is to trust your gut and be prepared for a lot of opinions to come your way, so make sure you have a thick skin. And also, congrats 🙂
Post # 3
I’m a firm believer in “when you know, you know”. I will say this though. Allowing yourself some time to just be engaged can be really helpful. My Darling Husband and I had been dating for a few months when we got engaged. However, by the time we got married, we had been together a couple months short of 2 years. We really hashed out a lot of things during that engagement period that bettered our relationship and avoided unnecessary strain on our marriage.
You can’t control family members reactions. Yes, people’s tounges will probably wag but if you’re confident in your decision to marry this person, then own it. If they see that you’re confident, then it might be easier to accept. If you seem doubtful to them, it isn’t going to do anything to ease their concerns.
Post # 4
Is_this_a_dream: Please do not read this with any harshness, I am only being honest. I am sorry but 24 is young and yes, you rushed in to this. You stated this yourself: “We have only been officially dating for a month but have been talking for a while did we rush into this too quickly?” If you are asking this question, you are doubting how quickly your relationship is moving. You are both young. Take more time to get to know each other in person rather than basing your relationship on emails and text messages.
Post # 5
I think its great you’ll have a longer engagement, since a huge part of a relationship is seeing the little quirks that don’t come out through texting or the phone, which you know I am sure. I know cousins of mine that had dated a little under a year, gotten engaged, then married 5 months after that. They are much younger than you, and were religious. But it worked out for them. The family didn’t react poorly, again because it was in their culture with their religion. I wish you guys the best, but if you feel like you need to hide it that is not good. Maybe just tell everyone and get it out in the open, or even wait to become engaged after a while. It’s a nice gesture, but not completely necessary if you will be waiting to be married for so long. But just MHO.
Post # 6
I think when you are afraid of telling other people about it, it is too soon.
Post # 7
My dad proposed to my mom after one month. They have been married 36 years. It can happen, if you are worried about people’s reactions wait a few months before telling anyone- though they will still be shocked.
I would suggest taking your time on the wedding, it is likely there is still lots to learn about each other.
Post # 8
What’s the rush?
IMO when people are engaged without actually planning a wedding/picking a date, I usually think they just want the title/relationship status (unless there are other circumstances at play- which doesn’t seem to be your case).
If you have to write on a message board to ask if you’re rushing… you probably are.
Post # 9
What’s right for you may not be right for someone else. It’s your journey; do what you want. Congratulations!
Post # 10
So you met in person a month ago, and two weeks later he proposed? I think the important question here is not what do WE think, but rather what do YOU think? Do you feel, in your heart, it’s too soon to be engaged to this man? Ultimately, you are the only person who can answer your question.
Your post seems to indicate you may have some reservations. Are you just afraid of what your family will think? Please do some soul searching on this, and make what you feel is the best choice for yourself. A long engagement sounds like a good option.
Post # 11
Is_this_a_dream: That is quick, and while I wish you the best I hope you will stick to your plan for a long engagement. Personally I would have asked him to propose again at a much later date, and for now have a “promise” ring instead.
Post # 12
I know people who met and married quickly. Shoot, my guy and I knew that something was afoot within days. It can happen. Does it happen often? Nope.
Post # 13
That is fast, is your family very religious (to the point where such speed is normal)? Otherwise they probably will have opinions, so just prepare yourself for that. If you’re sure you’re making the right decision then just go in expecting the worse reactions, but content with your feelings. They’ll see you made the right decision later then.
Post # 14
I knew my guy was the one on our third date, he knew after our first one! We both come from conservative families and we dates about a year before he proposed ( got parents permission). the waiting drove me crazy, but I knew he was the one and it was worth the wait. 😀 do you honestly feel you know him well enough? I also don’t see the rush ( waiting a year, then shorter engagement).
Post # 15
met my H 28/3/06 engaged 13/07/06 and married 17/10/06