- 5 years ago
Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together over a year and we have been living together almost the entire time. We both have been married before and although that sounds bad we both had our reasons for leaving those unhealthy relationships.. we both come from families of strong values and to be honest we both didn’t believe in divorce given how we feel about marriage…
We’re both active duty military and deploy at least once a year in our career field. He is actually deploying this month and we want to get legally married so the military has to recognize our relationship when it comes to orders or deploying, also because we’re both ready to be married and we both want children soon and waiting just for the sole purpose of having only one ceremony could put us at risk with alot of unfavorable possibilities with the Air Force, we already share an account and pay bills together.. we both feel cheated out of the union of marriage due to our pasts. With that being said, he especially wants an official wedding with as many family members and friends we can have because we both never got that. He wants to have this ceremony happen in the fall if I’m not deployed by then.. Currently I’m awaiting knee surgery and can’t even walk right and it will take at least 4-6 months afterwards to be healed. I know people tend to feel indifferently about celebrating getting married after “being married” we just want a chance to have tradition. We have made this very clear with our friends and family and they are all mostly understanding, and I say mostly because until you’ve gone through what we have and also know what it’s like to serve active duty, no one can truly understand.
So what are you opinions on this? Also, advidress dhow to dress or what colors even because obviously wearing white wouldn’t really be a great idea..? We just want to decorate an outdoor area by a barn and possibly get to wear traditional outfits that groom and bride do, and how would or should a ceremony as such go? Do we still walk down the aisle? Do we wait until our dream ceremony to exchange rings or do we do it this month and re-do it in the fall? Do we still have a couples dance, and a dance with my dad and him with his mom?
Help please!! We only want the traditional wedding for our memories and an excuse to have all our family together and to give personal vows in fronif of those we love and still have a cake and dinner and just have fun, no gifts or anything of the sort just togetherness.