(Closed) NEED OPINIONS! Guests expenses with little wiggle room?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If it’s important to them, they’ll come!

Its very generous of you to provide all of that for your guests! You may want to make a more extended invitiation highlighting all of the weekend activities. (With separate RSVPs for each, so they don’t feel obligated to attend all!) $80-$160 is very reasonable for the hotel.

Post # 4
2889 posts
Sugar bee

That sounds fun but if I didn’t know about it and the hotel was only 1.5 hours, I would not spend the night on Friday. How will you let guests know that you are organizing all of theses things and covering the cost?

Post # 5
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

It sounds like you’re doing more than enough to make your guests happy but as @slicey19 said, if I was not in the wedding party then I would drive up on Saturday and more than likely just stay the night of the wedding.

Is there a reason why you’re asking your guests to come the day before other than the activities you have planned? Does the resort require a minimum 2 night stay? If your guests have to stay more than one night, I think some may have an issue with that (I know mine would). 

Post # 7
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you are going to be giving everyone a great time. I would totally come.

Wait… CAN I come???!

(jk :))

Post # 8
39 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

@stateline: I think you can host the event that you want to host, and then each individual can declde if that is ok with them and their budget.

Will there be some people who can’t/won’t make it, possibly.  But that is up to them. 

Personally, I would not come up on Friday.  If your wedding was at 11am, then I may, but given that it is at dusk, I wouldn’t have to leave until 1pm to get there on time (if I was in the 4 hr group) and get ready.  And not too early in the morning if I was the 8 hr group. 



Post # 9
4767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you are awefully generous.  That’s not much to ask your guests at all, I’d come.

Post # 10
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I’m not sure if I understand your post, but if I understood it right, guests will just be paying for their hotel for one or two nights? That sounds fine to me. We have a hotel block and the price is $80 per night. Sounds good to me 🙂

Post # 11
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Sounds fantastic to me! If funds are really tight people always have the option of bringing food with them so as not to pay for the other meals – but that’s up to them to work out!

You’ve done an amazing about of organising, now you just have to invite those you want there and the ones who really matter will come.

Post # 12
35 posts

I am planning a similar type of event. The wedding party will arrive in Baltimore, where the groomsman will pick up thier tuxedos and have dinner(they pay for dinner but we have paid for half the tux expence), We are picking up the hotel bill for that night. The next day they will drive out to the Eastern shore for lunch at our home. Out of towners who have arrived are also invited. After lunch we need help decorating at the club and the rehearsal will follow. Everyone is invited to the dinner because almost everyone is from out of town. After dinner there will be a bowling minnie golf party (we pay for dinner and party but if they want more food at the bowling ally they are on thier own).

Saturday I have arranged for a historic tour of the town or driving range time ( we pay) They are on there own for lunch and the ceremony is followed by dinner and dancing.  The thing is all of our guests are from out of town so I felt like we had to do something.  Does this seem reasonable?

Post # 14
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you were immediate family or a very close friend I would most likely come for the whole weekend and for the cost you mentioned it would not be an issue at all. Otherwise I would only come for Saturday.

Also distance makes a difference as well and whether -no offense- I want to make a weekend getaway of your wedding destination or not. Whether I’m driving or if I have to get airfare.

Our wedding was in NYC and within reasonable driving destination of all guests and a lot of people came in Friday night, Saturday wedding and drove home Sunday morning.

Post # 15
2820 posts
Sugar bee

@stateline:  ‘Since it’s a national park I worry about a lot of people saying they’ll just come for the day or they’ll camp close by’

I’d just be upfront about the costs and have rsvps for each event if you need to know how many are coming in friday.

But you can’t really make people stay at the hotel vs camp – I’m sure most people will choose a hotel but it’s still got to be up to them and what they choose whether to not stay over or camp or whatever.

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