- 5 years ago
My son has been calling me nearly every day seeking advice on his roommate situation. I need help from you ladies because I don’t know what more I can tell him. Here is the situation: He is 21 and lives with another guy in his 20’s. My son goes to college, the other guy used to go to college but doesn’t anymore. They both have individual leases, with individual locking bedrooms/bathrooms but share the common areas such as the kitchen/living room/laundry room.
A couple of weeks ago, my son texted me telling me that his roommate refuses to clean up after himself, and it has gotten to the point of ridiculousness. He asked the roommate to please clean up, and the roommate simply said “Humph” and stormed off into his room. The apartment became messier and messier with each passing day – all from the roommate not cleaning up after himself. The living room was a mess, the kitchen had dishes piled up EVERYWHERE, and the place just looked plain filthy overall.
Here is the picture my son texted me of the living area:
Finally after about a week, the roommate got sick of looking at his own garbage and cleaned up after himself. Needless to say my son was thrilled. Later that night, my son walked into the kitchen and ran into his roommate there. My son took a plate from the pantry that he was going to use to put his dinner on, when the roommate looked at him and said “Make sure you clean that plate when you’re done with it” in a very rude, sarcastic tone. My son said “Okay” and went about his business.
Last week my son called me telling me that the roommate has been cranking the thermostat up to 86 degrees. It is in the 50’s and 60’s here in our region right now. My son was sweating in his own room, so he walked out and put the thermostat on 72. As soon as the roommate heard him switch the a/c on, he came out and put the thermostat right back on 86. I told my son to try to ride it out in order to keep the peace – and to open the window in his room. He said opening the window doesn’t help and it’s becoming unbearable. When he left to go to his part-time job the other day, he noticed that his roommate had his window open also!! Here’s the picture he sent me of his roommate’s window:
Needless to say, as soon as my son saw that his roommate had his window open as well – he had had enough. He decided to walk up to the thermostat, turn it down to 72, and wait for the roommate to try to come out and jack the temp back up. The roommate came out just as planned, and my son said “Look, we need to talk. We both have to live here and so I would like for us to come up with a compromise on the a/c.” The roommate then replied “You want it down, then HERE it’s DOWN!” and cranked the a/c all the way down as low as it would go. My son said “That isn’t necessary, let’s agree on a temp we would both be comfortable with.” At that point, the roommate turned back around and went into his bedroom, slamming the bedroom door in my son’s face.
My son called me to tell me what happened, and he said that since then the roommate has re-emerged and put the thermostat back up into the high 80’s. I don’t know what advice to give my son. He has tried talking reasonably to the roommate, but it hasn’t gotten him anywhere. He doesn’t have the money to move out and get another place right now – and I don’t have the money to help him out at the moment. Plus part of me doesn’t want to give this roommate what he obviously is wishing for! I want to teach my son to stick to his guns and not be bullied.
I know I am getting only one side of the story. My son had to have done SOMETHING to set this roommate off, but with the roommate refusing to talk to him about it there isn’t anything my son can do to make it up to him or make the situation better.
I have run out of advice to give to him – please help!