(Closed) Need some advice

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Unfortunately, it is usually the case that whoever puts up the money for the event gets to have an opinion on everything, guest list included. I’m sorry that your mom is sick. Try talking to you Future Mother-In-Law and explain that while you appreciate her trying to help with planning, you want to take a small break from it so you can concentrate on your mom for a little while. It will all come together. Good luck sweetie – hugs.

Post # 4
Member
31 posts
Newbee

@navyblueandyellow:  first off, bee, big hugs for what you’re going through. working on a tight budget is tough enough without others trying to suffocate your day. secondly, it is YOUR (AND FH) day! i do believe if they’re paying for such a big chunk of the wedding, they should have that much of a say. BUT i also believe people should know their boundaries. i suggest you have a serious talk with your fiance- figure out what you want from this wedding and agree on goals and priorities. if you want to focus on a simple and intimate wedding you need to speak up! if your Fiance disagrees you need to come to a compromise. i believe this exercise is crucial for you to FOCUS especially on a budget.

after coming up with a plan as a team. with the support of Fiance confront Mother-In-Law and GMIL. confront as in nicely, but firmly state to them your vision. tell them you hugely appreciate their monetary offer, but you feel pressured by them to deviate from your vision. if they insist on bombarding you with cash and their dreams, i would decline their support. my grandmother is a VERY VERY… opinionated person and my dad did little to tame her. i talk to my mom a lot and she always regrets not speaking up. the one thing she did stand up to was my grandma trying to add my dad’s cousins as BRIDESMAIDS! when those cousins got married they apologized to my mother bc they understood how frustrating that was. 

ps. i would also be super upfront about your personal stress. it’s always easier to understand one’s actions when they put their thoughts and actions in context.

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