A *sort of* similar thing happened to me…except that Fiance at the time proposed with a ring that he never even saw in person before agreeing to buy it–he ordered something from a friend of his mom’s sister that lived thousands of miles away. FI let his mother talk him into what he should spend for a ring, and she basically picked it out (mine and MIL’s tastes are not, and have never been, similar). I was ecstatic when he proposed, but my sister could tell I didn’t love the ring (not to mention it was three sizes too big). It had to be shipped back to get re-sized, and since it was such a dramatic size change, they had to re-do the entire thing anyways. I jumped at my opportunity here–since they had to re-do it, I brought it up to Fiance. I said I loved him so much and there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to marry him, and I was so happy that he went and got a ring and surprised me, but the ring just wasn’t what I had in mind to wear for the rest of my life. He was pretty hurt at first, but I am a firm believer that you should be happy when you look at your ring, because it is supposed to resemble something very happy.
I posted about this on here when I was going through it and A TON of people freaked out on me and told me that I should just buck up and love whatever was given to me, or that I should just shut up and ask about an upgrade a few years down the road–well, I am not the biggest believer in “upgrading” your ring later because that means you never really liked it in the first place. I don’t know, it is such a controversial topic. Anyways….
I convinced the jeweler in another state to change the setting to a halo with the same center stone (because I really had my heart set on a halo to begin with) and he did that, but charged me more. This was the biggest no-no out of the entire thing, but I had him put the extra on my credit card and told Fiance that he would do it for free. It was $1,000 extra and I shouldn’t have lied, but I had the money, and I didn’t want to hurt FI’s feelings anymore than I already had (I really did feel like a terrible person through all of this, but as soon as I said I didn’t like the ring very much, there was kind of no turning back). Got the ring back, I loved it, Fiance loved it, thought all was good. However, when we went to get it inspected to get it appraised, we found out there were CZ stones in the halo part, and that the stones were overall just terrible quality except the center stone, but the center stone was only .4 something carats, and, basically, we had gotten completely screwed by the jeweler in the other state because he charged us WAY too much money for a really shitty ring. That’s when I had to fess that I paid more for the setting on top of what Fiance had already planned on paying, but by this time we figured out the jeweler was just a crook anyways and he was more angry with the jeweler than with me.
Fast forward a little more: we went through a HUGE scuffle about getting our money back for the ring, and the jeweler tried to refuse at first. We said we could very easily go and tarnish the crap out of his company on the website, so finally he agreed to refund our money if we didn’t go and write a bad review about him. SO SKETCHY!!! But, nonetheless, we got our money back and kind of had an opportunity to start all over.
So what did we end up doing? FI really didn’t want to finance a ring, as much as I convinced him that this was perfectly normal and what most people do…but after spending an immense amount of time on WB through this entire thing, I discovered Moissanite and FELL IN LOVE with it. I could have the size of stone I wanted and end up spending less than what Fiance originally did for a really shitty ring. So we went with that–moissanite center stone ordered from moissaniteco.com, and had a LOCAL jeweler set the stone in an amazing diamond halo setting. I am so over-the-moon in love with my ring now, and Fiance (now DH) can tell. He still catches me staring at my ring, and he has said that it was not fun going through what we did, but overall he is happy that I ended up with a ring that I loved because seeing how much I love it makes him happier than me just “putting up with” the ring he picked out for me.
So overall, what I am saying is, maybe you should investigate another route besides the way overpriced diamond industry and you might find something that you like that is not terribly expensive. And, if you need an argument for your Darling Husband, maybe just overemphasize that you love him dearly and you just want the symbol of your marriage to be something that makes you almost as happy to be wearing as he makes you. And make him realize that this happens to people all the time (I know I wasn’t the first person to post about not liking their ring, neither are you, and you won’t be the last) and it is perfectly normal to get a different ring, no matter how long you have been together, etc., and it has nothing to do with your relationship. People change their minds about things all the time, especially when rushed to make the first decision. I tried to compare it to if I bought Darling Husband a shirt and he did not like it at all, would he ever wear it, much less every single day? No, not at all. A lot of people will say that’s not the same thing, but say at the same time, a ring does not define your relationship. To that I say, great! Then what’s the harm in changing it to something I love and am really proud to wear every single day?
Sorry, that was an uber-long post, but I hope it helps you some. Good luck!