- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
My fiance and I decided to travel to Gatlinburg, TN and stay in a cabin with just one other friend and her family and my mom and her boyfriend and my brother. One of my other friend’s mom is altering my dress and not charging for it. This friend was also the one who declared herself maid of honor right when I got engaged and then avoided all talk of weddings. I honestly wrestled with inviting her because we’ve just grown apart over the last 8 months or so. I finally decided to invite her because we’ve always been close and sometimes life just gets in the way, especially with her living 5 hours away.
Anyway, I invited her even though she is not my fiance’s favorite person. I texted her and told her about it (b/c I was so excited and this is how we usually communicate with our lives being so busy). She told me she was in class and would have to get back to me later. I told her that was fine, I was going to send her an invite anyway, I was just so excited and had to tell her.
She had some drama with her fiance’s family so I didn’t bring it up for a few days. A little bit ago she sent me a message on facebook and brought up a trip to florida that she’s been planning with her roommates for three months now. Well, my wedding is a little over two months away and I mentioned how I was basically counting down. She said “I know silly” and then brought up how it was pollen season.
Then she asked me why someone else wasn’t invited and I told her that we wanted it to be private so she asked me if I was pregnant (I’m not). So I finally asked her if she’d be able to come.
Her response was that she has to talk to her fiance about it. That’s fine, but the way she said it was like she couldn’t make a decision without his input. What I mean by this, was if a friend of mine was getting married that meant alot to me, of course I would talk to my fiance about it…but not about whether or not I was going! I’d basically tell him I’d have to go and work out how that would work with him.
I did ask her if her fiance would even come, because of course he’d be welcome b/c I wouldn’t want her to be left out but in the past, he’s skipped out on trips involving her friends. Her response was that she can’t travel alone. Okay, I”m kind of understanding that as well, but she expects me to make the 5 hr drive to see her without my fiance.
Then I asked if she’s even told him about it. Now, I know I said she had some drama with his family, but I told her about it before that drama and its been a few days and its had time to settle down and for them to talk about other stuff (I know this b/c of my conversations with her and their fb posts about their dog). If the situation were reversed, I would have told my fiance about it that night!
The other girl going is appalled by all of it and I’m pretty hurt by all this. At this point, I want to tell her to just forget about it, because I’m obviously not important as I used to be to her and I want to move on and get excited about my sort of elopement!
Please give me some advice on how to handle this