Post # 1
This is not wedding related but I need some advice. I got married almost 3 months ago , wedding was beautiful and everything was good until life started to change and I started to get a bit depressed day after day..
I had to move from my home state to be with my now husband, at first I was happy that we got to end the distance and then got busy with finishing the wedding plans and then we got married and my family came over and everything was great. We got a nice apartment and we furnished it together and it was all good, however lately its been nothing but fights because I am not happy living in this state. I miss my family a lot and I feel like I got nothing here but my husband. He has all his family here and they are all nice but I cant help but feel so alone.
I started a new job and its nothing special , just a receptionist at some salon. It’s okay for now just to get out of home and make extra cash , however , its a bit stressful and I have to deal with a lot of drama going on over there..(you know how it is working with a lot of girls). Its been stressing me out and I have been feeling so down and everything been making it worse and worse.
My life is becoming as if I just wake up to work and then come back home and being in that state of loneliness and emptyness. My husband been trying to help out , he is a great husband to begin with. He does so much to help out around the house and cleans and makes dinners at times and anything you can ask for really…however, I haven’t been feeling as if I am married just recently because he hasn’t been really having fun program for us to do on weekends or take me out on “dates” and such like that. I usually have to be one to plan certain things. I talked to him about it last week but it seems like it doesnt change anything..or at least from what I’ve seen so far. I am only making a big deal out of it because we were in long distance relationship and we missed out on a lot of things , like dates and such..and I want to experience that.
I have been causing fights between us and been waning to fly back home and I really haven’t been feeling good at all lately. I am also just feeling so lost and confused as to how I got this way and not sure how I will fix this. My husband been having a very hard time dealing with all of this and he has been trying to stick with me and make me feel better. However, it would last for a day and then I am back to how I am now…
I feel like my life has no meaning and there is nothing really to look forward to. I know I shouldn’t be feeling like this but I got no friends here and I feel so far away from home and I feel like I am just failing in life.
Post # 3
You can’t just run away from your problems, that won’t fix anything. You honestly sound depressed, like you’re not handling the changes in your life well. I’d definitely look into talking to a professional first and foremost before you fall deeper into this rut. Sometimes just talking to someone you don’t know, who can offer an objective opinion really helps.
Post # 4
Talking to a professional would help. In the meantime, try to find little things that make you smile, make you happy or at least less sad. If you’re at all religious, you could reach out to a local church group, maybe a book club or a young adult ministry. My sister used http://www.meetup.com to find a group of young working women when she moved to Atlanta, and met a lot of girls her age with similar interests. And about dates with your husband…it can be hard after being married to go on traditional “dates” every weekend, so maybe try to take the pressure off and find new ways to have fun. Maybe try putting an empty jar on the counter, with strips of paper next to it. Have each of you write simple, basic date ideas (a new restaurant you want to try, a night staying in and watching a film, going to the movies, etc) and then when Friday or Saturday rolls around pulling out a date idea, so less thinking about it. Try to stay positive, even it can be very hard to feel so alone.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you’re so homesick =(
It sounds like you’re going to have to take action and make some changes to become happier. I’d start off with maybe trying to find a different salon to work at – it’s great when you get along with your coworkers and can make friends there, not when it’s something you’re depressed to even go to! And I totally agree about tring to make friends in the area – what about posting on your local board and seeing if any bees want to meet up? As far as date nights go, plan some!
Post # 7
Take it from someone who has been in your shoes before, it gets better, but it is up to you to make it better. You just a great time planning and having a wedding and were probably really excited about moving in with your husband, that you didnt stop to think about the day to day changes in your life once you made the big move. I get that! I followed my then not even fiance to some middle of nowhere farm town where I cried every day for months. I was a mess. My mom finally gave me some great advice and told me that no one was going to make things better but me. So i signed up for meetup groups, invited a co-worker I barely liked but was my age out for drinks, basically just got out of my house. It wasn’t easy and it didnt happen overnight, but my “empty lonely life” wasnt so bad after awhile