(Closed) Need some advice/help

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Firstly, I’m sorry you have to deal with this. No matter how much we trust our mates, you can’t control what others do around them. I don’t trust skanky women. Just don’t. And from your description that’s what she sounds like to me.

Second, Hello sexual harassment! He should definitely do something. Report her to whoever he needs to report her to. That is just plain NOT ok at the work place, married or not.

As to his “adding” her on facebook, that’s a seperate issue. That would bother me IMMENSELY. Facebook/myspace/twitter all of those things have a way of making normally innocent (which she’s not) friendships look like something totally different and have a way of making YOU paranoid and crazy.

Tell him it bothers you and he should delete her not because it’s what you want but because that’s the right thing to do. Don’t let him twist it back to make you feel like you’re the inappropriate one for not wanting him in contact with her. Tell him that you trust him completely but it’s HER you don’t trust and you don’t want him to encourage her behaviour by being facebook friends with her. No good can come of it.

Post # 5
Member
8725 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Maybe he added her so as not to rock the boat. i mean it is pretty rude to ignore a facebook invite of work colleague especially if you have other work colleagues as facebook friends.You either trust your SO or you don’t.

Seriously though I think you are overreacting. It is just facebook and he can always ignore her.

But if the situation in the breakroom really upsets your So then he shoudl report it to HR.

Post # 6
Member
41 posts
Newbee

Hmm.. I guess the question really is if he likes that.. But you should have been there to see&hear how he acts when she does that.. I mean HOW he laughed it off. Is he encouraging her etc.?

Anyway #1 “sally” is way over the line! Doing something like that at work is really really inapproriate!! If it was a man doing something like that, I bet it would have been reported already.. I do understand that in certain work places and jobs you really need good team spirit and inside jokes etc. to get through the day. And some times the jokes sound very rude or inappropriate to outsiders. But still! What a sl*t! I’d prob go to his work place during lunch, and “talk” to sally and tell her to stop being the village bike –but this is prob not the best way to handle this πŸ˜€

#2 it’s a really good thing he told you πŸ™‚ You should tell him you think it is important to talk about stuff the other one might not want to hear.. And ask him again what’s really going on.

aaaaand.. I agree that facebook has a way of making innocent comments into something they are not.. you could go crazy over smileys she posts to his posts.. I don’t think he’s pressuded (by other colleagues) to accept her invite, I bet all of them know what she’s like.

Post # 7
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

It’s just Facebook. I deleted it for a few reasons and one was not being able to say no to my staff adding me. If you ignore that request it’ll make life difficult at work. 

But the whole lunch room thing, no, just no. He needs to speak to a manager and then escalate it to HR. 

Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee

@Milo:  I wasn’t seriously suggesting that luch room thing.. Hence the smiley. But I’d be really angry at sally, not the husband.

Post # 9
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

@PV:  What? I hadn’t seen your post before I posted. I responding to the OP. 

Post # 10
Member
41 posts
Newbee

@Milo:  Oh, I thought you meant my “But still! What a sl*t! I’d prob go to his work place during lunch, and “talk” to sally and tell her to stop being the village bike –but this is prob not the best way to handle this :D” lunch room thing!

Post # 12
Member
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@PinkMermaid:  “I absolutely can’t stand women who just go after married men like it’s no big deal.”  This exactly.  She just sounds like trouble.  

I agree with other PPs though, he probably just added her to keep the peace.  Sorry you have to deal with this type of person though, she seems terribly inappropriate all around.  *HUGS*

Post # 13
Member
41 posts
Newbee

@PinkMermaid:  Jey for smiles!

But drawing on his arm?? oh Lord, how old is she? 4? Sounds like she has more problems than one.. feeling the need to butt-dance at a married man’s crotch in the work place just being the tip of the iceberg…? I actually started to pity her.

This is just wishful thinking but the best ja longest lasting (IMO) solution would be that your husband would have a serious talk with her.  Stating that none of that behavior is ok, and if it continues, he’ll report it. That they are work colleagues and that’s it. that he does not like it, never has, and never will. That he is married and it is truly sad that she can’t respect that.  (If you do it, you could be turned into one of those “crazy over jealous controlling wifes” etc. )

Post # 15
Member
41 posts
Newbee

@PinkMermaid:  Happy to have helped πŸ™‚ I hope all turns for the best! Good thing is that you two can talk about it and your husband understood, not eg blamed you for being over the top jealous.

Maybe she´ll pick up a new guy at a local greasy spoon and go away in his trailer soon πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

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