- 8 years ago
I’m not engaged, I’m not really waiting, I don’t think. I used to think so but lately, I don’t know.
When my SO and I started dating I had never wanted to date anyone in the Military but here was this guy that was pretty awesome and I really couldn’t ignonre him and I embraced that being in the Army made him the man his is today.
I knew when we first started dating he would be going into OCS and his assignment until then with the reserves wasn’t something he was crazy about. He really wasn’t into it at that time and then when his assignment was up there was about a three month gap between that and when OCS started. He mentioned when we first started dating that he was a lot more civilian now than he used to be one time when I commented on one of his little military quirks.
He was supposed to accelerated ocs in 2 months time and then he was hoping to get into flight school. While he was in phase one during the first two weeks though he got really sick and elected to come home and do standard ocs for the next year, one weekend a month. When he first got home I was worried he’d be upset because of the change of plans he has to wait a year to finish ocs and it really lowers his chance of getting into flight school but he was so happy to be home. He was excited that it was only going to be one weekend a month, and was ok with flight school not happening. He was taking me out places, talking about getting married.
And then the last few months are just complete opposite. It’s like because OCS is only the weekends he has so much more work outside of thoes weekends ad he’s so stressed about it. He hasn’t been himself. He’s been coming into work late, going out drinking more often. I’ve tried giving him his space and tried going out of my way to be nice and spend time with him and nothing seems to work. He doesn’t come over and he forgets to say good bye when he leaves work or I love you and he’s stopped texting me about silly things.
Last weeks I sort of pulled it out of him that OCS and money and his house and flight school are really stressing him out. But I asked him to just talk to me about these things so that I know what’s bothering him and I’m not thinking he’s suddenly realized he doesn’t want to be with me. And to just try to remember to tell me that he loves me and stuff.
This weekend was out one year Anni and he had OCS, which is fine. This week he talked to me about stuff more and he was smiling more and sending me stupid texts about how he ate a whole pizza and things felt a little better. He’s not supposed to have his phone with him at OCS but he said he’d try to text me if he got the chance and I said he didn’t have to but if he could just tell me first when he was done because it really hurt my feelings when I’m waiting to hear from him and then I text him at 7pm to see if he’s done and he’s been drinking with his friends. So he thinks that’s a little silly but ok, he’ll probably get done around three. He kisses me good bye, tells me he loves me and I felt like things were getting better.
So this weekend, he texts me on Friday night to say good night. Saturday I text him HA around noon and don’t hear anything back. Which is fine, he tends to leave his phone on and it dies. I figured I wouldn’t Sunday around 4:30 I get on facebook and see he’s on. So I message him and ask him if he’s been home long. He just got in. And I ask if his phone died. It did. I tell him I thought it might have because I didn’t think he was just ignore both my request from him to let me know when he got home and my Happy Anni text. He said no he wouldn’t. We chatted about a few other things and I finally wished him a Happy Anni again and he did the same, he was hungry so I let him go. I called later to catch up with him and see if he was coming to work today. He’s probably not, he’s beat. I say he’s probably tired and I’m going to let him get to bed. I say ILY and he hangs up. I call back and am like (not mean) you hung up on me after I said I love you. And he was like “I’m sorry jeeze. Love you too. I don’t want to deal with this right now. Bye”
I kinda feel like my military SO just doesn’t love me as much as he does when he’s civilian. Any one else experiance this? Or do we just have normal relationship problems that aren’t related to military stuff? Do I just need to be patient?
Sorry this is long. I just don’t really know what to do.