I’m so sorry. I had the worst anxiety of my life last year and I know just how difficult it can be.
Now It’s been over a year and my anxiety is not gone completely and I wont lie, there have been days where I have wondered if I will ever feel like I did before all of it got so bad. Unfortunately I am far away from being the normal me but…
I had a 24/7 panic attack for months, no lie even when I was sleeping I would wake up shaking hysterrically. I was a complete and utter mess. I was in such horrible shape from the anxiety that my therapist recommended a couple times that I be hospitalized to calm the anxiety. Being a “single mom” that just wasn’t possible.
But now, being completely unmedicated for over a year and even during that hard time, things have gotten so much better. I find myself closer and closer to the way I was before all of this. I haven’t gotten there yet but I can see it coming. I can feel it I just haven’t made it.
I’ve come so incredibly far since all of that, my husband reminds me of this all the time and says he sees an extremely different side of me compared to this past year and he sees all of the progress I’ve made.
I was diagnosed this past year with generalized anxiety disorder, at one point I was afraid to sleep, afraid to be awake, afraid to be alone but afraid to be around people. I would call anyone and everyone I knew just to come sit with me during the day. If I couldn’t get ahold of anyone I would have a melt down. But now I’m OK with being alone, I love to sleep and love waking up, it’s so much better. I still have generalized anxiety, things still make me nervous but that’s where stepping out of our comfort zone comes into play. The things we know are safe but don’t feel safe doing, doing these things has been important in my recovery.
I know I’m not perfect and I’m far from being where I want to be, but coming from someone who has had such a horrific deal with anxiety over the last 12 months (started 2 years ago though just increased 10fold last year) I can honestly say it will get better. It may take time but it will get better. If I could overcome the horrible anxiety I had last year without even medication for the bad days, you can overcome yours. It is possible, just keep your eye on where you want to be and do everything you can to get there. My therapist was very very impressed by how much I really listened and put to use what he said, but as I’m sure you understand, I was desperate to feel normal again. I was willing to try anything even if it seemed useless. And it helped.
If you haven’t yet, one thing I recommend trying is positive affirmations. It helped my anxiety so much. It was incredible. The most incredible help I got though was getting closer to my faith but I wont preach on here. Although it helped more than I could ever imagine.