Post # 1
Lets start at the beginning.
When I and my FH started dating. He could not keep his hands off me. He would always touch me. Kiss me hold my hand. Hug me in the middle of a shopping center full of people. As soon as he where together for an year things started to change.
Our sex life look a turn for the worst.He seems not to pay any attention to me I could be naked in front of him and he wouldn’t even notice. When we eventually do make love doesnt even last for 5mins. When he is done he will stand up and just leave the room. No more cuddling afterwards not kissing nothing. Ive spoken to him on numerous accounts. And he said he will try. But it never happens. If I ask him in a sexy way if he is in the mood he will always have an excuse. He will only want it when it suits him.
Through this experience ive started to think I am fat, unattractive, not even worth looking at. Ive lost all my self confidence. I have even lost so much weight due to the fact that I feel so fat and ugly! My heart is broken.
I love him so much it hurts. I would do anything for him. He is the most amazing person. He takes such good care of me and my daughter. Everthing els in our relationship is working really well except for this one thing.
So over emotional right now!
Post # 2
I think you honestly need to know your worth first and foremost, and not base it off of what Fiance thinks. However, it would be a good idea and bring up to him. He may feel insecure about himself. Perhaps because it only lasts five minutes? When you guys do get down to it, make sure he knows your are enjoying yourself, even if you don’t get to the big O. But talk to him and let him know what you’d like. Ex: I would LOVE to try a new position. 69?
Get yourself ready if you know what I’m saying. And I would say to stop asking if he is in the mood at SHOW him that you are. Simple kisses on the neck and close hugs. When you’re alone, sit on his lap. If youre REALLY alone, strip down if front of him and play with yourself. When you have caught his eye(even if he isn’t gawking), walk over amd straddle him. Kiss his neck, show him you mean business, take innitiative.
Also some guys have very low sex drive, regardless of what magazines and other relationships may have told you. Stress, nerves, and a number of other things can contribute to this and it can change over time. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.
Ps. Confidence is sexy! Show him how hot you are! 😉
Post # 3
I am so sorry, I’ve lived through this though it was due in part to a few various diagnosis of my ex and subsequent depression but it took a huge toll on me, my confidence, everything. And I tried everything, talking, taking charge, all of it but I’d get the same “I’ll try better” response but nothing. I too felt invisible and unsexy and eventually I had to get out. Unfortunately I don’t think it’s as easy as PP said, though that is certainly worth trying. You have to decide how important for you this is in a relationship and the consequences if that doesn’t happen, and he needs to understand that too. Relationships aren’t 50/50, they’re 100/100 and when one person doesn’t seem willing to work on an issue, even bigger ones develop. It sounds like I did, it wasn’t even about frequency of sex, or even having sex, just wanting to feel desired and wanted. It’s reason number one while he is now my ex. Current Darling Husband and I, more compatible than my wildest dreams on that level and so many others and my confidence and happiness have soared.
Post # 4
thirdtimeisthecharm: completely agree!
If nothing works and its taking its toll on your relationship you mayneed to re asses and talk it out with him.