(Closed) Need some help!!!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9953 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrsfoxyangel:  Is he ok with your getting a new ring at all?  Maybe he sees the heart ring as your engagement ring.  But since you’re the one wearing it, in my opinion, you have the right to change it to something you like better if you want to.  You’re already engaged and changing the ring won’t change the engagement. 

Maybe he’s afraid you want a $10,000 diamond ring, lol.  Can you reassure him you won’t go over budget?  It could be something fun you plan together.  Try to get him on board, but first you need to know the reason he’s against a new ring.  He’s allowed to feel however he wants about it and both of you should respect the other’s viewpoint.  But you can always come to a compromise.

Post # 4
2292 posts
Buzzing bee

@Sunfire:  That’s a great suggestion. 

Reassuring him that you won’t want anything too extravagant may be a good thing to do. 

Honestly, his behavior rubs me the wrong way. It’s one thing to be nervous or intimidated by the thought of actually having to get the engagement ring and propose. It’s another thing to promise your girlfriend an engagement ring after graduation and then get snippy with her when she brings up the promise that you made.

Talk to him and try to see what he’s thinking when it comes to getting the ring. If it’s about the cost, reassure him that you don’t want anything too expensive. You could even show him some examples of what you like, so he can readjust and figure out how to do this.

If it has to do with him not getting you another ring at all, well, then it may be time have a calm, rational discussion about this relationship. He made the promise, so he either needs to fulfill it in a satisfactory way, even if he has to say “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to  spend less/wait a bit longer to get it for you”, or say he can’t or won’t do it. Turning this around on you as if he didn’t make the promise himself, however, is not right. 

Post # 5
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

This strikes me as being totally about the cost of the ring and perhaps he is a little embarassed and feels a little bad that he cannot give you the type of ring he thinks you deserve? You know what I mean? 

I don’t think he is trying to be a jerk or deny you a pretty ring. I think he might just be a little embarassed.

I think you should have a calm rational discussion about it. Talk about a budget, is paying an engagement ring of in installments an option? show him the type of ring you want he might think you want some enormous ring. I think in this situation you just need to be totally honest and upfront with it. If he never wanted to buy you an engagement ring I doubt he would have proposed or told you he would get you one. 

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