I don’t believe I’ve missed the point. I’ve given the OP the best biblical counsel I know. Do I think it stinks having to do what’s been requested? YES! It does stink, but I know alot worse
things that have been asked of people by God (yes I say by God b/c this man has been appointed by God to lead God’s people.. in this case specifically over the OP). In all reality, if the OP and her Fiance gave this over to God and let him work in it, there is NO HARM in them as individuals, as a couple, or in their walk with God that could come of it. And yes, I can say this confidently b/c I know God to be faithful to those who are obedient to Him EVEN with falliable man involved. If anything, God would never cause there to be turmoil or confusion in not following something. If this pastor was leading them astray and they went to God about it then the Holy Spirit would clearly advise them. That isn’t the case though… rather there is the struggle… the struggle that comes from our own desires trying to “win out” over God’s desires for us. We all have the choice to allow our desires to take precidence but in advising the OP I just couldn’t disservice her in that way. It’s not about how I think
about it, it’s about what God can do in it! =)
Yes you’re absolutely right! There are alot of Pastors that wouldn’t pay any mind to this. There are also pastors that wouldn’t have a problem with two people having sex since they were “on the way to” getting married, or many other things that don’t line up with God’s word. There are also pastors that ask things of people that clearly go against God’s word, which God warns about and tells His people how to know the difference and what to do in cases as such. The point is though that this is your
pastor and what he’s requesting, while incredibly inconvenient and not something that ANYone would want
to do, can also grow you closer to God…. IF
you let it. It can grow trust, a deeper intimacy, and even restore heart hurts in you that just wouldn’t be done without that separation… all giving you an even stronger foundation for your marriage! Do I know to the extent?… of course not b/c I don’t know you BUT I DO know God and know that he wouldn’t put this on YOUR
pastors heart and not have an awesome plan for you in it.
You certainly don’t have to do this, but having been in places very similar, I’d advise submitting to the spiritual authority of your pastor and let God work it out…. EVEN IF your pastor was way out in left field, I again know God and know that he would STILL do something great in you going along with what’s been requested since it doesn’t go against God.
You obviously are going to get alot of support to simply find another pastor here, but I truly believe that’s only becuase of the lack of submission we see today in God’s people and not because anyone giving that advice is looking as what effect your decision has on your walk with God and where it could or could not be as a result. Being a Christian has become something that is very casual and it’s been widely accepted that as soon as something is proposed to us that we don’t like or agree with then we can just find someone else, another church, to appease our own desires. =(
4 months is NOT that long… yes it seems like it, but when you take into account the lifetime you’re going to spend getting closer to God and this man, it really is just a small moment that if given the opportunity God can do GREAT things in.
I’m still praying for you!