(Closed) need some help…hope someone can help me

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Can’t you just go out with your girlfriends? Just because your Fiance isnt into going out doesnt mean you have to stay at home all the time.

Post # 4
4154 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Is the problem the age difference or the fact that you feel as though a “change” has happened in your life?

The age thing shouldn’t really be a problem, but I understand it can feel isolating.  SO is 33, and I’m 21.  He talks about things with his mates that I have noooo idea about because they’re 80s things…. BUT, I have a lot of other things to talk with him about even when I feel left out of some things.  After all we’re never going to enjoy the same things all of the time.

If you want to dance and have drinks go out with your friends without Fiance.  If I want to go out, I go out.  Sometimes he comes with, other times he doesn’t.  He goes out without me too.  He has a couple of hobbies I have no interest in and vice versa: I do tap dancing, he doesn’t, etc.

Getting married doesn’t mean the end of your life, it means the beginning.  I say open up with your Fiance.  Most importantly: always be yourself!!

Post # 5
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Marriage shouldn’t be isolating. Married people don’t just throw away every other relationship they may have with friends and family as soon as they tie the knot. You will have to make sure to schedule girl time, but it can be done for sure! You sound very unsure about whether you are ready for marriage… I would work out these emotions you’re having with yourself before you commit to marriage. If you get married with all of these conflicting thoughts, I have a feeling you will end up resenting your husband.

Post # 6
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

If you honestly feel like you aren’t ready, there’s nothing wrong with honoring that.  Sometimes it takes courage to admit the path you’re on is not what you really want.  I’m married and I have moments when I remember the fun my friends and I used to have… but I don’t really want to go back to it.  I’m a different person now and I don’t regret it at all.  There’s a difference between getting wistful for the past and truly feeling you are making a wrong life choice right now.  Only you know which this is.  Trust your intuition.

Post # 7
56 posts
Worker bee

Everyone has great points and I especially agree with jjmomma.  Only you know what is best for you and if you decide that you are not ready, there is nothing wrong with that.  I truly believe that relationships are about timing… it doesn’t mean you didn’t/don’t love the person but maybe the timing is off because maybe there are things you still want to do as a single person (I don’t know if that’s the case, I’m just giving an example). There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being ready.  Marriage is forever. Good luck to you!

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