(Closed) Need some outside opinions-kind of long

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

do you know where your Fiance was at the time T says they were together? it sounds like T was just trying to stir up drama and made it up. who do you trust to tell you the truth, T or your FI?

Post # 4
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Oy, that’s a really tough situation and especially with your trust issues I can understand how you must be feeling right now.

On one hand, the fact that this guy NEVER talks to you and chose to call you up and tell you about this does seem like he truly believes it and wanted you to know. On the other, like you said, it does sort of sound like something someone immature might pull out to cause some hurt during a breakup.

From your FI’s reactions to her, it seems to me like he realized her feelings and actions toward him have been inappropriate and was trying to distance himself. If she knew that her bf was uncomfortable with her obvious attentions toward your Fiance, then it seems logical to me that she’d pull out “I slept with him” as a major blow – true or not, she knows it’s going to deeply hurt and upset B.

I’d try and trust your Fiance on this. If your gut is nagging, perhaps you can suggest some couple’s counseling just to make sure you’re both on the same page. But it sounds to me like she’s just being immature and trying to live out a fantasy while also causing maximum damage to B.

Post # 5
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

It could be that she is just trying to start trouble, that’s what it sounds like.  However, I would want to gather more information from Fiance, without being accusatory.  Trust your intuition and talk this out with him.

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Good for B for looking out, but I think I would wait to discuss this in person with your Fiance.  Get specifics about what T is saying, and see if it really is more plausible than not that something happened.  I woudl be pretty shocked if he did, but I guess you never know.

I have a friend whose husband (then bf and FI) got mixed up with a younger girl, she even told his SO that they were sleeping together (she didn’t believe it). Now she’s got a 2 year old who looks a good bit like him…

Post # 7
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sounds like she likes drama. Just don’t jump to conclusions and have a long talk with ure Fiance until u feel comfortable.

Post # 9
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wish I could say I would not believe it one bit but….I don’t know your Fiance, you do. Do YOU believe it? Where was he when this supposedly happened?

Post # 10
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@BrookieCookie9:  That sounds suspicious, why would he not tell the date? Have you considered contacting her yourself? Sounds to me like she is just trying to break you guys up!

 

Post # 11
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Hhhmmmm, I have mixed feelings about this one too. On one hand it sounds like your Fiance had respected your feelings throughout this and has tried to distance himself from her.

One the other hand, I guess I don’t know anybody that would just pick someone randomly and make this up. Especially with enough detail to convince their ex-bf that it is true. I can’t imagine how you are feeling trying to sort this out while you are at work. For the time being I would give trust your Fiance until you get all of the information.

Post # 12
Member
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@BrookieCookie9:  that says to me that it is just stirring up drama, if B didn’t want to get into it with Fiance then he is probably involved in the stirring up

Post # 12
Member
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@BrookieCookie9:  that says to me that it is just stirring up drama, if B didn’t want to get into it with Fiance then he is probably involved in the stirring up

Post # 14
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would let him contact her, and get her to spill everything she said. I am more apt to think she is just trying to cause drama, only because I have knwon many a girl around that age to lie about stuff like that to either cause drama, end a relatioship, or just because they were bored O_o

Post # 15
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Do you think she is trying to break you and your Fiance up so she can have him (your FI)?

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