(Closed) need some serious advice.

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

So, let me get this straight:

He has no money and no initiative to earn said money.

He wont go to class.

He is dependent on his family.

He is mean to you.

He spent a lot of your first months talking to his ex and lying about it (and now you dont trust him).

He is occasionally mean to his family members.

He manipulates you by buying you flowers and gifts and promising an engagement that he cannot afford.

He doesn’t comfort you.

He is immature.

You guys have broken up two or more times in a year and a half…

He’s a real winner. And to be honest, if you read through this list and still have second thoughts about leaving his sorry ass at the door, then you need to get real.

Post # 5
Member
14661 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@enida21:  i am very confused because he is always bringing me flowers, says he wants to marry me,  he has not pushed me into sex, he knows i dont want to,  he is telling me all the time how much he loves and hugging me, writes me letters, talks about having kids together ect.

That is the only good thing you said about him that ENTIRE post.  Anyone can buy a few flowers and spew that sort of shit.  Get a man that can prove it with his actions.

Post # 5
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Double post but seriously, listen to PP

Post # 5
Member
14661 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

double

Post # 7
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry if this is harsh, but the person you’re describing does not seem to be relationship material and DEFINITELY does not sound like marriage material.  Most of your explanation included negative traits and things he’s done to hurt you.  The only positive things you’ve mentioned are that he gives you flowers and sometimes says things that you want to hear (that he loves you, wants to marry you, etc.).  From what you’ve told us, it seems that he’s all flowers and talk, but no action or substance.  I hope you do what’s right for you, but from your post, I would advise you to leave him behind and find someone who is worthy of your love and your time. 

Post # 8
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

I got as far as:

“my met my bf in may of 2010 and at the beggining everything seemed great,  it only lasted for 3 weeks and then little arguments arose.  he used to say mean things all the time and when i confronted him about it, he always used to say that it was just joking.”

before I started scratching my head over the fact that this is a question about a guy you’re still with? Why??

You can do so much better.

Post # 9
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@ohmybears48:  outstanding post of the day!

OP, what ohmybears48 said – yes relationships have their ups and downs but it shouldnt be a battle every single day, who wants that much hardship

Post # 10
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Yeah, what @ohmybears48 said. Tough love but she’s right . . . 

Post # 11
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Have you ever given him money or do you ever pay for things for him because he’s too broke? Sounds like a cheater/slacker/liar/mooch.

NEXT!

Post # 12
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Time to give this loser the boot. You deserve better. I don’t even know you and you deserve better.

Post # 13
Member
42 posts
Newbee

@enida21:  I only read the first paragraph but even after that let me just say… KICK HIS ASS TO THE CURB!  I had a similiar situtation with my son’s father where he was always texting his ex and he seemed much more into her than he was into me.  He eventually ditched me to go hang out with her…  So I’m sure at some point that will happen to you.  I dumped his ass, dated some more shady characters, and then finally got some sense!  I am now with the most amazing man I have EVER met who treats my son and I like we deserve to be treated and who I am going to spend the rest of my life with…  I know break ups suck but it will all be worth it in the end!  Trust me!  🙂

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