- 7 years ago
i dont even know where to start but i will try my best. this is going to be long but i am going to try to make it as short as possible.
my met my bf in may of 2010 and at the beggining everything seemed great, it only lasted for 3 weeks and then little arguments arose. he used to say mean things all the time and when i confronted him about it, he always used to say that it was just joking. after that his ex texted him and when i asked who it was, he lied and said it was a friend. he was acting sooooooo enthusiastic about her texts that i got suspicious and later found out that it was his ex. the one he claims to be his first love and the only one he has loved before me. i got mad at him for hiding who she truly was and asking to never do it again. days later i asked him about her and his replies were alaways no i havent talked to her but i always caught him (he was talking to her). i got paranoid bc he kept lying and that made me insecure that i told him that i wanted him to stop communication with her. they were never friends so i told him he didnt need to have her as a friend now. he went to see her behind my back, cancel our plans that day, was late to work. i decided to break it off with and told that i needed someone who care enough to at least tell me what was going on. my friends convinced me that maybe he needed to clarify to see if he had feelings for her, he begged to get back with me and i decided to give in and get back with. after that i have been soooo insecure, i cant seem to trust him or anyone anymore. i was hurt bc i was so honest with him all the time and i felt betrayed, we had huge arguments about the fact that he went to see her. after that i have encounter more problems with like being super imature, irresponsible, ect.
let me explain this: his family is in the dominican republic, the only family member here in the US is his sister, who honestly doesnt care about him, but he still helps her whenver she needs help. if she screams at him, he doesnt do anything about it. just get mad for a few days and then forgets bout it and again she kind of take adavante of him. he doesnt have a very stable life. he is in college, but fail miserably all of his classes last semester because he was always late or never went at all. he just finally quit is part time job of 2 years that was paying him 7$/h, withn that job he barely had money to support himself and got a new job 30 hours at 8.5, ok not much progress but something is something i guess. recently we got into an argument i was ignoring his calls and he went to see his ex again, i found out through his fb. the ex was not home so he didnt see her but you know his intentions count a lot more. his explanation of why he went to see her was that he didnt have anyone to talk to and that in the past she always listened to him. he swears and swears that he didnt go to see her bc he has any feelings for her. i got really mad at him and told him again this was over. i spent 2 months apart from, i mean i still saw him but i made it clear i was not dating him. recently things were looking better so after many letters and begging from him i again decided to give him another opportunity.
now the problem is, he keeps being immature. his sister and ex brother in law owe him mney like since a year ago, and he has a lot of financial issues and he still doesnt make the effort to tell them to pay him. also whenever we argue, he acts like he doesnt care, not to mention that in the past whenever i eneded up crying he used to let me cry and not even try to confort me. the semester just started and he has been late and abasent already for no good reason. he promised he would changed all of this.
i am very confused because he is always bringing me flowers, says he wants to marry me, he has not pushed me into sex, he knows i dont want to, he is telling me all the time how much he loves and hugging me, writes me letters, talks about having kids together ect. but yet fails to act more mature and responsible to actually accomplish all of these goals.
i am not a very patient person but i have been waiting and giving him opprtunities for the past 1 year and 9 months. i am to point that tiniest thing makes me explode and all i want to do is cry. because i dont know what to do or why hes acting like this. any advice??