(Closed) Need some support…I think we are about to break up

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I dont have advice, but Good Luck and best wishes. Just do what’s right for you and your future – he doesnt sound invested in the “Together” future with you. 

Post # 3
1002 posts
Bumble bee

Sorry you are in pain. I see you as quite strong since it takes a lot of couraGE to make this move.

Post # 4
10286 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

He doesn’t sound very caring, to leave like that and give you the silent treatment. How selfish. You’re the one who is hurt and he knew that. Oh well, it just confirms that you’re doing the right thing. 

I’m so sorry you’re in pain but standing up for yourself is a great start. 

Post # 5
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

My advice is if you think is for the best it probably is. See this through the first few days will be unhappy but its short term pain for long term gain. I promise you will find  the one a guy who can’t wait to marry you. Good luck

Also don’t just sit in your home alone reach out to someone it will help. 

Post # 6
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Sorry boo! I hope you find the marriage, kids and happiness you are looking for!

Post # 7
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
lifestooshort:  I’m afraid I don’t have any advice but just wanted to say that I think that you’re awesome. I wish you weren’t in such a difficult situation but I think you’re making very wise and logical choices right now to ensure you live your best life. I hope that you are able to have a more constructive discussion when he returns, but that you keep moving forward with your plans to feel back in control of your future. Sending you my best.

Post # 8
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Loveless Barn

 So, so sorry you’re going through all this emotional stress. I’ve read your previous posts and you’ve been very clear about your feelings and brave for following through with what a lot of people are scared to do. 

A little confused on one thing…what did he mean by you don’t know how he feels about proposing? Seems to me that’s exactly what you’ve been trying to figure out.

Post # 9
722 posts
Busy bee

I think after all the time and effort you’ve put into him and your relationship, the least he could have done was to man up and have an adult conversation about your future. I think you’re doing the right thing and I applaud you for making the gutsy move to pit your happiness first. I wish you the best of luck! Just keep reminding yourself that after five years, you deserve more from him. 

Post # 11
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

You’re being surprisingly classy about this. I think it shows what great character you have to let him know of your plans to move on with your life and find someone who really wants to marry you and have kids before moving out and blindsiding him (or worse, cheating). 

Best of luck to you in your future! Good things come to good people, so I’m sure you’ll meet the one soon! 

Post # 12
3053 posts
Sugar bee

He sounds REALLY selfish…

Post # 13
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

i don’t have my own experience with this type of situation, my brother did go thru something like this. His now wife, then girlfriend, broke up with him while they were dating. She wanted to marry and have a family. He had no clue what he wanted or if he was ready. They broke up. After 6 or 7 months, he went back to her and they got engaged. He needed the time to clear his head and set his priorities. When he did that, they were on the same page. Been married 9 years with a daughter. Not every situation is the same. YOU have to do what makes you happy. If living together forever with no marriage isn’t going to make you happy, you might need to take the steps to move on. 

Post # 14
5641 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

OP, I’m sending positive thoughts your way (((Hugs)))

Post # 15
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Vineyard & Winery

I feel your pain and I’m so sorry you are going through this…been there, done that.

First long-term relationship lasted 9 years. After I threw down an ultimatum, he proposed. Then, while engaged and planning a wedding, I came across a bunch of emails detailing the cheating. I broke off the engagement.

Second long-term relationship lasted 7 years. Once again found myself with someone who was dragging his feet with marriage. This time, however, I wasn’t going to make the same mistake and give an ultimatum. I made it very clear I wanted to marry him and when nothing came of it after years of waiting, I broke it off and moved on.

Six months after I broke it off, I am now engaged to the man of my dreams and I couldn’t be happier!

Stay strong and listen to your heart. You’ll find that true love someday. Never settle- you are worth more than that!


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