(Closed) Need some unbiased advice

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@alyssaC:  Honestly I think if you two are engaged and are going to be married, another year isn’t going to make a difference. Either way, you two will still get married and you will still be with your FI/Husband. Especially since you will be able to save money for another year before you get married so that you will start off your marriage with better financial footing. And it sounds like both sets of parents are being pretty flexible with allowing him to be over and things like that. At least they aren’t giving you a curfew or anything like that. Trust me by waiting another year and saving up money, you will appreciate that extra buffer when you two do move in together! It will be well worth the time you are taking to save up that money and live with the parents a little bit longer. And I think that the parents are trying to look out for both you and your FI’s best interests. Cool

Post # 4
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Stay the extra year. What is one year in the grand scheme of things? I’m kind of in the same situation. We are getting married next may and I live with my parents. He lives with a roommate and pays only 250 a month in rent. But he is here with me 95% of the time. It’s really hard not having our own space anymore (we used to live together before times got tough financially).  We are able to sleep together in our bed which is in my room but it’s just not the same. I don’t feel comfortable being intimate with him in my parents’ house so that has put a damper on our relationship. We know that we need to save and we would be doing ourselves a disservice by moving out now. I know it’s tough but since your parents are giving you this opportunity to stay there you should take it.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you need to stay at your parents because there are so many things changing in your life that adding moving in together  might just be too much. Plus, from my experience, the 2-3 years after you graduate, you change soooooo much. Many relationships can’t handle the college to real life transitions. If you move in together, it’s just one more thing you have to untangle. It know 1 years seem like forever, but you have the next 50 years to live with him. Take you time and save some money.

Post # 6
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee

Stay!!.You are so lucky to have this opportunity.It is just a year, then a lifetime with your man 🙂

Post # 7
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I dunno, I moved out at 18 for school hours away from home and never came back, so I may not really understand what it’s like to live with your parents as an adult, but even though I was POOOOOOOR a lot of the time, I’d never trade the experience of living alone.  But, I guess you won’t be alone persay, and if delaying a year isn’t the end of the world, I guess it’s ok to stay with your parents.  But, I still vote moving out, because I think it builds character.

 

Post # 8
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

I would definitely stay another year for free. I get that you want to be on your own but you’re still young, and financial problems are real and a huge source of problems in relationships. It is huge to start off on the right foot and financially secure. Just pretend you’re from a Latin American country where it’s the norm to live with your parents into your 20s! 😉

Post # 9
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Stay. Save money. The real world is mighty expensive, even if you’re livin on love…

 

Post # 10
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Honestly, I would stick it out with your parents for another year. It will be worth it and so much less stress if you have money saved up. I could understand the stress if your family wasn’t cool with you coming and going and him staying over but since they are so cool about everything, you can defintely make it. 

Post # 11
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

SapphireSun ditto! 

 

I also left at 18 and neve went back.  I think there is some key things people learn when the live on their own.  However, you’d be going from your mom’s house to live with your H – never having a chance to live to your own before you get married.

But since living totally alone was not really part of your plan, then I’d stay home to save money.

Post # 12
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Stay and save the money:)  I really wish I would have had the option of living with my parents longer (just for the money saving- dont get me wrong I love my parents).  Hang in there, a year goes by super fast!

Post # 13
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would stay at home another year. I moved out only 2 months after graduting college because my job way too far of a commute, but given the opportunity, I definitely would have stayed living at home and saved. A year will go by quickly and it will put both of you in a better financial place to begin your married life!

Post # 14
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Stay. Create a budget and save money ‘as if’ you were living on your own. Like, put away a major portion of what you would be spending on rent/bills. Transitioning to living-together situation without a lot of money is TOUGH…trust me. I learned the hard way that planning for what we ‘would be’ making is not reliable.

I would at least give it 3-6 months or so after graduation before you move out…see how hard it is for you to find a teaching job and make sure he’s getting his raises like expected. Money stress makes every other tiny problem you might have SO much worse.

Post # 15
Member
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I would look around and try to find a cheap apartment before you make a decision either way.  If you can find a place for like $500/month, I think it’d be worth it to have your own place and start your living-together, real-couple lives! Definitely wait til after graduation and until you have a sense of how much money you’ll be making every month.

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