Post # 1
My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s when I was a kid. He put off his diagnosis even though his hand was obviously shaky all the time and he knew that there was something wrong. When I was 16 he was forced to retire from his job at the mill and go on disablity. (Not his choice, the mill management made him due to safety issues.)
This past winter I went on a trip home to help my mom deal with the issue and realized after being away from home for a long time (I live 4 hours away from my home town) just how bad things had gotten. My dad is now stage 5 Parkinson’s patient. (The last stage.)
He’s completely incontinent and has lost most of his motor function. He needs a power chair for mobility and can’t feed himself anymore. His hands don’t do what he wants them to and I could see that it hurt him when he was unable to shake my fiance’s hand one of the first few times they met.
He’s now in full-time residential nursing care and will be unable to attend my wedding. I sent him an invitation so that he would have a copy in his room. My mom however will be coming to the wedding with my grandparents. I’m worried about how he will feel with her gone for a few days knowing where she is and how he can’t be there to see my big day.
He know his time is coming and it’s made him very depressed and sometimes even suicidal.
It’s really hard for me to think about how unfair life is. Even though Fiance is 30 years older than me, both of his parents are in excellent health and very active and both will be at the wedding.
I just dont know what to do. I want to enjoy my wedding but I don’t know how to handle the feelings of guilt and sadness.
Any support, bees? Anyone been in a similar situation?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry I don’t have any advice or know what to say.
Would you be able to visit your dad after the ceremony? My Future Brother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law did this when a family member could attend their wedding. (Gran had stroke)
I really wish you and your Fiance the most amazing day, You dad wouldn’t want you to have any guilt. It is natural to feel sad my Grandmother passed away a weeks before my first wedding. Try your hardest not to let the sadness overshadow your day it’s ok to lean on your new husband for support.
Lots of love xx
Post # 4
Have someone record it, and your mom can take it back to him and play it for him.
Post # 5
Could someone do a video chat, like over Skype or facetime? Like an ipad or laptop with your dad, and an ipad or iphone recording at your ceremony? I can’t imagine how difficult this is.
Post # 6
Web cam or at the very least record it for him. My step dad is going through cancer treatments but the doctors where great at making it work into his treatment schedual (he got 5 days to come down and only had to take oral meds). I think it would be really nice if at the very least through the day someone could email pictures of whats going on… Im sure the home would be helpfull to organizing something like that for him.
Post # 7
@hopefullbeee: First off, I’m so sorry about your father. Parkinson’s is such a horrible neurological disease. Although he is immobile/without motor control and incontinent, is there a reason that he can not attend the ceremony? Could your family hire a nurse for the day to care for him? Did he communicate that he did not want to be there? ~ I love PP’s advice. Skype, video, or e-mails would be a great way to help your day feel as if he were participating in your big day. ~ I hope these questions don’t come across as disrespectful, I’m just curious…
Post # 8
I’m so sorry your dad can’t be there on your big day. I agree with some of the other girls, if you can have it recorded or webcamed somehow. And it would be such a beautiful gesture if you were able to go see him right after the ceremony should location/time permit.