Post # 1
Soooo I’ve got a little over 6 months to go and shiz is starting to feel real. I’m a naturally nervous person and I predict that I’m going to feel majorly anxious on our wedding day, specifically, right before the ceremony. After the ceremony, I’ll feel like the pressure is off and I should be fine.
I’m a bit people-shy, and we’ll be having ~170 or so guests attending. It is also a formal, Catholic ceremony (but we have a very very cool priest!). I feel like my nervousness is stemming from the fact that a) everyone’s eyes will be on me b) I’m going to want to hug and kiss and hold and giggle uncontrollably and talk to my fiance immediately upon seeing him, but I don’t think that fits into the program… and c) there will be this “holy shit” moment when I’m walking down the aisle with my dad- where I realize that this moment I’ve spent my entire life dreaming about is actually happening- and I’m afraid that I won’t be able to process it. d) ugly cry face.
So I guess I’m looking for people who are my brand of crazy- and asking for tips/tricks or just stories in general about your wedding day. I’d even like to hear from you if you were nervous the entire time- just tell me how it went.
A common solution to wedding day nerves is booze- but that won’t be happening. I don’t know what has happened since college, but my tolerance is in the shitter and booze just makes me loopy and tired. Plus, I’d feel weird drinking before church.
I thought that maybe a first look would help this situation- but I’m feeling terribly conflicted. I absolutely never wanted a first look- no offense to people who have done them, but it feels like a sham to me… walking down the aisle after hanging with your fiance all morning/afternoon. But the more I think about it, the more appealing it is- it will get my head on straight and relax me before that big moment. Just being with my fiance and having some alone time will definitely calm me down. (an aside, it would actually mess with my timeline, not improve it, like in most cases- but of course I can always change it).
Thanks in advance. Sorry this was so long and rambly 🙂
Post # 3
I haven’t tried this before an event, but when my mind is racing and I can’t sleep I use a meditation app that I downloaded on my iphone. If you have never tried guided meditation or relaxation I would give it a try, I didn’t think it would work for me but I find it definitely helps my stress level. Good for pre wedding stress too!
Post # 4
I plan on listening to calming songs while getting ready…and probably a swig of alcohol, haha. I would say calming thoughts and music, or you can do a prayer with all the bridesmaids. I’ve even seen where the couple stands on either side of a door, so you don’t see each other, and they hold hands and pray. That way, you still get physical contact, but you don’t see until coming down the aisle.
Post # 5
I was super nervous about people looking at me and judging my choices of everything from meal to colours, to dress to words in our vows – it was crazy. Unfortunately I also have a nervous tummy, and it was ridiculously hot on our wedding day in a super heavy dress since it’s not characteristic of our area to be above 25C-ish.
I don’t want to freak you out, but there were a couple vomit close calls… and my bridesmaids were awesome! They locked an entire banquet hall of people out of the bathroom for 15 minutes while I took a quick “just in case” break, and made sure my makeup still looked good. I would say lean on your bridesmaids as much as possible, that’s what they’re there for.
My MC, who’s a super outgoing, constant party throwing kind of guy came over to plan a couple days prior and was telling me about his philosophy “entertainment will be provided;having fun is your responsibility”, and that really made me laugh, so between that and reminding myself that no matter what happens we’ll likely still be married at the end of the day, everything was absolutely better than fine!
Post # 6
i’m sure your adrenaline is going to kick in and youll be fine!
Post # 7
Make sure you EAT and DRINK WATER. If you feel you might get too wrapped up in the day and nerves to remind youself to do this, make sure someone else does, even if it’s just some fruit and a bottled water. Keep a mini fan handy. When I get anxious I sweat! If you find yourself having a “Omgomgomgomg” moment, think of something really funny and stupid, like the time the dog got into the neighbor’s clothesline or something. It helps 🙂
Post # 8
Honestly, I was the same exact as you… I was nervous months before the ceremony. I am the girl who when a group of over 10 is looking at me, I freak out. My heart beats 100 mph & I freeze up. I wanted to cancel the wedding & elope only because I didn’t want to walk down the isle in front of everyone. A lot of Bees said “you won’t notice” & I thought they were crazy.
What happened on my wedding day? I saw Darling Husband down the isle & all was fine, I didn’t notice the 250 people watching me at all. I didn’t take any meds or anything either. Before the ceremony, my stomach was in knots because I was nervous about walking down the isle. I got really nervous once the ceremony music started playing… my heart dropped & I was like I don’t want to leave him at the alter, but I do not want to walk down the isle! The only reason I could walk to the ceremony room was thinking “I can’t humiliate Darling Husband by not showing up!” However once I started walking down the isle, I wasn’t nervous at all.
You’ll be completely fine, if I was, you will be :).
Oh & now I laugh because I was so nervous about being nervous walking down the isle… & it was all for nothing, cause it was fine.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone, for sharing your suggestions and stories 🙂
@snacks: I’m downloading a “meditation and deep relaxation” app as I type this- going to give it a whirl as I’m headed to bed. Who knows if it will work, but heres hoping for the best!
@SapphireSun: Thank you for your honestly. Seriously. I’m sorry you were feeling cruddy- but I’m so glad that you got through it and still enjoyed your day! I, too have a nervous stomach, so this is definitely a concern!
@Mrs. Bear Cheese Pie: I’ve seen the “first touch” done before, and I think it’s so sweet! It’s definitely a good option for someone who doesn’t want to commit to the first look. I’ll keep it in mind! I do wonder if anyone has completely messed this up and grabbed their fiance and hugged/kissed, etc. and ruined the surprise- it would be so tempting!
@missashley884: fingers crossed 🙂
@KatyElle: oooo don’t you know I’m like a damn camel when I get nervous. So I’ve got that half covered at least. No idea what I’m going to do in terms of food yet, though! I want something that wont mess with my stomach, but will keep me at ease. Hmm.
@canthugallcats: you sound just like me, haha! that’s awesome to hear that everything just clicked with you and went off without a hitch. I’m so glad to hear that coming from another nervous wreck 🙂
Post # 10
@September29: Triscuits are good, you can snag a few and they will kind of stick to your stomach until you get to the reception.
Post # 11
Is half a valium along the same lines as booze? Works like a charm.
Post # 13
I’m going to pop a chill-pill myself! If I didn’t, I’d be nauseous and throw up all morning.
Post # 14
We all know planning a wedding is stressful and it wasn’t any different for me. I’m a very “hands on” kinda person and I DIY’d quite a lot even doing fresh flowers. I was surprised the night before I was very calm, if there was anything I forgot it was to late to do anything about it. In the morning I had a good breakfast which included a banana. I found out a few days later that a bride on the bee said it contains something to keep one calm. It definately helped because I wasn’t nervous a bit. I locked my eyes on my fiance as soon as I saw him at the end of the aisle. I didn’t notice anyone else until I saw the video and said “I didn’t know ____ was at the ceremony”.
If you’re not a drinker don’t have even a glass of wine. I wouldn’t chance it. Your Maid/Matron of Honor and BM’s love and care about you and they will be there to support you. Keep your focus on your fiance, lock eyes and just w-a-l-k. Have you ever danced with him or been in a quiet moment when others are around? You don’t even know there’s a room full of people, it will be like that at your wedding, you’ll be fine!!!
Post # 15
@Ill Be Mrs B: Have you ever danced with him or been in a quiet moment when others are around? You don’t even know there’s a room full of people, it will be like that at your wedding, you’ll be fine!!!
I love that comparison, it helps a lot. Thank you!
Post # 16
You’re very welcome. That’s exactly how I felt walking down the aisle, it was just him and me. I hope on your wedding day you’ll remember that… it’s just you and him!!!!