- 7 years ago
I’m starting to realize something.
Darling Husband needs his space to be clutter free. Things picked up, put away, etc. I’m the opposite of this – and could keep clutter around far too long. I have worked REALLY hard at trying to make sure my things are picked up (not so good at it all the time) but my point is that the house looks decent most of the time.
Now, related to DEEP cleaning: floors, bathub, etc – I’m starting to belive I have the higher need in how clean things are. For instance – our bathtub is looking pretty gross and it’s grossing me out, but I haven’t had time to clean it (I spent my last chunk of time vacuuming the house and cleaning the toliet)…. I just don’t think Darling Husband sees it and thinks ‘oh, need to clean it’ the way I see it (vs. if there was a pile of clothes laying around on the floor).
From day one, I told Darling Husband that once we pay off some debt, I’d like to get a house keeper to do the deep cleaning (floors, tub, toilet, sinks) but he REFUSES. Just FLAT OUT SAYS NO WAY. This infuriates me to NO end. He thinks it’s just being lazy if we can’t do it ourself. I see it as I don’t want to spend my free time doing that kind of house work (I HATE doing floors!) – tub/sinks – not so much – but I can’t say it’s my favorite thing to do.
Fast forward to today: I’m so frustrated because Darling Husband has the day off and the tub NEEDS to be cleaned, and I know when I get home it won’t be done.
Option 1: it the past, he’s asked me before what needs to be done, and I’ll tell him and he’ll do it. So, part of me thinks: just give him a list of what I want to have done. The other part of me feels like it’s RIDICULOUS and belittling to give him a list. HE has eyes. HE can see the tub isn’t clean. I DO NOT WANT TO BE HIS MOTHER!
Option 2: I know I couldn’t actually go through with this – but I’ve thought about hiring someone to do the deep cleaning and just not tell him (why this thought makes me feel so good, is wrong in so many ways) 🙂
Option 3: Don’t say anything and hope he picks up the slack?? This doesn’t seem like a good option.
SO – what I’m looking for is a way to say: hey, I’d appreciate it if you could do x, y, and z. I feel like I’ve had that conversation with him… although, the realization that I have a higher need for the deep cleaning type stuff is a new one.
To his credit – he’ll usually clean up on his days off… it just hasn’t been done in about a month or so… and I’ve found myself cleaning up on my day off… and then getting bitter about it…..
So, hive – what’s worked for you? Should I just make a ‘honey-do’ list for him on his day off and not worry about it seeming overly mothering? I still cringe at that because I want him to take some initiative… but I also don’t want it to get to the point where I’m blowing up at him because the tub isn’t clean!