(Closed) need to break it off

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

You need to do what makes you happy. Your parents will learn to support your descision. I know it’s difficult but you can’t live your life with this man if he doesn’t make you happy.

Post # 4
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Wow this must be so difficult for you, I wish I had better advice.  You just have to be strong and KNOW that you are making the right decision by not marrying this man.   It would be even worse and messier if you married him and then got a divorce.  It is not too late to get out, everyone will survive and go on with their lives….especially you!!

Post # 5
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This is a very difficult situation…. I am not sure what your cultural background is like, but I do know that for some cultures situations like this are very normal… that being said I am sure it doesn’t make you feel any better.

In the end you have to do what you think is best. Do you believe that you actually CAN work things out with your FI? Would he be willing to go to a couples counselor with you? 

I am sorry you are in this situation, there is no easy way. 🙁 Hugs


Post # 6
11422 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

DO NOT MARRY HIM.  You are being pushed along by a moving freight train being propelled by not only your Fiance but also your parents.  You need to stop the train, and immediately.

This is your LIFE we’re talking about.  As an adult, you may owe your parents respect, but not obedience, and you should never allow anyone else to make such a life-changing, permanent decision for you. Do. Not. Go. Through. With. This. Wedding.  Don’t do it.

You need to confront your Fiance and your parents and tell them that the wedding is not going to happen.

Do you have any close friends or family  members who would be supportive of your position whom you could ask to help you with going about canceling all the arrangements?

Post # 7
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

How awful. I think that if you feel so strongly that you don’t want to marry him, you definitely should call off the wedding and break up with him no matter what your parents think. Do you support yourself? In that case you personally will be (financially) fine, and have more freedom in this situation. If you are financially dependent on either your Fiance or your parents, you will have to become independent of them or go to live with a relative before you can make a clean break. Whichever it is, call off the wedding and deal with practical considerations after the fact, because you should not have to marry someone who makes you miserable.

Is there any way your parents can live without your FI’s support?  Please excuse the suggestion, but can they go on welfare? Food stamps? Something of that kind to help them get by? It is completely wrong of them to expect you to marry someone who treats you badly (abuses you? Can’t really tell from what you said) so they can live off his money. 

Leave your Fiance. Your parents are adults and they should be able to survive on their own. And if they are horrible to you for leaving him, stay far away from them for a while, because they are most certainly in the wrong for trying to force you to marry someone who treats you poorly for their own financial gain.

Post # 8
2892 posts
Sugar bee

You’re 25. You’re an adult. It’s actually very simple – just don’t marry him. I’m not saying the stress and drama in regards to your family will just vanish but you don’t have to marry someone if it’s not right for you, regardless of whether or not invites are sent. Period. Seriously.

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