Post # 1
I am going crazy! Lately, I have been depressed. I get mad at my husband for everything. SOmetimes I thnk it’s because I’m just plain unhappy. I miss being myself, I miss being single. With marriage and motherhood, there are responsibiites that I can’t handle. I never wanted to settle down in the first place. The first year was ok, now ongoing 2 years I can’t do it anymore. I have a good husband that is a wonderful father. I’ve just turned into this horrible unhappy monster!!
I think apart of it is growing up. I got married at 22, not too young but still young. We live with his mother along with everyone else. It drives me INSANE living with 13-14 people. I am not sure as to what is driving me insane!!
I am not stressed financially, I have a BA, a good job, I own 3 luxury cars, I have over $20k of my own in my savings. I am not sure as to why I am feeling this way all of a sudden? SHouldn’t I feel happy to have all this, a lving husband and a large family??
Post # 3
@SX2013: why are you living with your MIL and family, especially if you are financially comfortable? Maybe you’re struggling with a lack of space, privacy and some alone time with your husband, and this is causing your to be unhappy and upset. Have you considered getting your own place with him?
Post # 4
@SX2013: maybe he isnt the one for you? maybe your not the type of person who marriage works for there is nothing wrong with not wanting to settle down those things you stated will make some people happy but if its not what you want it wont someone can have a huge love for kids and if they have them then it will make them happy but if another person hates kids and has kids its not going to make them happy just because were brought up to think those things are supposedd to make us happy doesnt mean it will!
i would do a lot of internal reflecting to see what the real problem is and address it maybe you need a different path in life
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Why are you living with so many people when you can obviously afford to live on your own? Is it the cultural norm for his family? If not, then moving out of there and into a place of your own will likely help out a lot. If it’s a cultural thing, maybe trying to get a bigger family home so you can have a little personal space of your own in the house?
Post # 6
Personally, living with 13 other people would drive me insane too, especially early on in my marriage. I obviously don’t know your situation, but since you seem to be financially stable, is it possible to get your own place to see if just being a couple by yourselves makes things better?
Post # 7
@SX2013: I agree with the PP about needing your own space. youhave a seemingly wonderful husband, that is not enough to make you happy. you have to be happy with yourself first. we cant tell ourselves how to feel. to outside eyes it may look like you have soo much, but deep down you are feeling at odds and thats fine. its a good thing you are admitting this and not holding it in.
it sounds like you are overwhelmed and dont have anything that is yours which would drive anyone crazy. perhaps consider finding something for yourself outside of your kids/marriage like a hobby such as yoga, pottery (idk what you are into) or going out w friends for a drink etc. every once in a while.
Post # 8
I think the stress of living with your MIL is probably weighing on you, if you have money saved up, why aren’t you moved out with your husband and child? It seems you are just in a rut. You have to understand that we aren’t all going to stay “21” forever and have the same lifestyle we did, party and not care about the responsibilites. If thats what you truely wanted you shoudn’t of considered marriage or a child for that matter. You should feel blessed with all you have and that you have a loving family around you.
Post # 9
You need to move out of your MIL’s house ASAP! I could never live with that many people. You and your DH should get a place of your own, and you should seek therapy in order to figure out what will make you happy. Give that a few months, and if things don’t improve then try couples therapy.
Post # 10
Why do you live with his family?
Post # 11
I’d rather live in one of my luxury cars than share space with 13-14 people.
Post # 12
It is of cultural norm to live with the husband’s family. It’s crazy and I don’t understand WHY. It certainly was a cultural shock to me!!
I am financially stable and my hub and daugther is enough to make me happy. I was pretty content with my life before it changed. I am pretty stable for a 23 year old. Now I am slowly seeing that it’s living all together that is making me feel this way!!
We are currently working on purchasing a home. Say, almost 2 years in this type of environment was enough to really mess me up. I guess I posted this up because I couldn’t imagine the effects of not having privacy, space or QT with your significant other.
Post # 13
If I was living with 13 other people, I’d be miserable, too. I’m sorry you are feeling this way. Did you not anticipate this when you got married or when you and your husband decided to have kids? What is it that you miss so much about single hood? What are the responsibilities that you have now that you cannot handle?
ETA: Just read your update. Yea, I bet you feeling this way has everything to do with your living situation, along with you still being “young”. I can imagine at 23, it’s hard moving in with your in-laws and living with that many people. Does your husband know how you feel? It’s important to be honest with him about things like this so he knows you’re not happy with the situation you all are in. Hopefully you guys get out of there SOON.
Post # 14
That’s something to think about. I love my husband, I love my daughter. I love maing them both happy. I just threw it out there as a possibility as to why I may be feeling this way.
Post # 15
@SX2013: My DH and I used to live with his parents while we were still engaged. We used to fight all the time. We were miserable. We were pretty much confined to one room because his parents were always in the living room which meant we were ALWAYS around each other. As soon as we moved into our own place, the fighting stopped. He helps with chores, helps with supper, is more affectionate, our sex life is great. If you are so financially comfortable, you guys should consider moving out.
Post # 16
That is EXACTLY what is happening! Truth is, in this economy, I am afraid of getting laid off or run into some type of misfortune. I often feel trapped in my room. I would rather be at work then come home most of he time! There is no room to breath.