(Closed) Need to just 'talk' HD abusive omg

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
2807 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

get out. as soon as possible. there has to be a shelter you can go to somewhere. there are people to help you, including your psychologist. the doctor has all kinds of resources. be honest, explain what’s going on.

please, as a person who stayed in an abusive relationship for 5 years, i beg you to get out.

Post # 3
6297 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

I can’t not give you advise as you requested, it would be irresponsible.  You must leave NOW.  Get in contact with a women’s shelter through your doctor.  Notify your immediate family of what’s going on.  Once you are safe you can start working on other stuff like the house, etc.  1st priority is getting you to a safe place, please be quick, it will get worse.

Post # 4
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Report every incident to the police, no matter how small. Photograph your injuries. Keep a diary. Download this ap on your smartphone:


Or this:


If you don’t want to leave your home, this makes things very tough for you. You will have to get him evicted and get a restraining order. You need a paper trail ASAP for this to happen… the police will have to start recording this so that they can take action. Get EVERYTHING on paper and prepare for a tough legal fight.

If you can’t do this… and many women cannot… it would be much better that you cut your losses and leave for a shelter ASAP.

Post # 4
10357 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

View original reply
anonami:  Do you think he could be on drugs? Maybe meth? Leaving for days at a time and intense mood swings… 

Post # 6
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Get out and do it now. 

Post # 7
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

LEAVE NOW. Imagine if you stay and have kids? Do you think he won’t abuse them? Of course he will. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. LITERALLY.

Post # 8
87 posts
Worker bee

Run. I worked for a shelter and am a lawyer. you need to leave. you did great at reporting. You are strong enough. Go to the shelter. Talk to your parents and family from there – they will work out a way to get you safe. Then get a lawyer.

Shelters do not post addresses but if you call the hotline they should give you information on how to get there.

Post # 9
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
anonami:  Correct me if I am wrong, but you feel like you have your back up against a wall because you are emotionally involved and that is ok. It is not going to be easy, you married a man who you thought would never hurt you and now that he is, you are confused and hurt. It’s ok to be scared, confused and hurt. You said you know you need to get out, so I am not going to tell you to do what you already know you should do. I’m glad you have tried to talk to a psychologist because going to someone qualified to help and has resources would be my strongest advice (I know, I know, you said no advice). You know what you have to do, but actions are harder than words and I get that. Finding a good support system will help you through this process. Let your family know, even if they dont live near you. They love you and they will help you.

Post # 10
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
anonami:   GET OUT.  There are resources for battered women – use them.  Get your essentials together and LEAVE.  

I have walked in your shoes.  Save yourself and the rest of your life while you can.  *hugs*

Wishing you strength, please keep in touch if you can do so safely.

Post # 11
47439 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Listen to the pp’s and get out. The women at the shelter can help you with information about ho to move on from there, whether that’s getting a restraining order and having him evicted or how to get financial assistance and legal advice to be able to sell your home and move on.

Post # 12
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Your life is worth more than any home or material possessions. The man you thought you knew is not who he really is, & it’s unfortunate that you only found that out after you married him. He hid it well but his true colors are out now. Whatever your current financial situation is, believe it or not it WILL get better, but NOTHING will improve until you are free from abuse. Love yourself first & foremost. Take charge of your life while you still have it!

Post # 13
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Your life is worth more than the house, LEAVE.  There will be more money and other houses but not if he murders you in a rage.  That’s Game Over.  Pack your bag of necessities tonight and go to a shelter.  They can help you put together a plan for moving forward.  Staying will only result in you being beaten and the likelihood of you being killed by him goes up every moment you remain with him.

Post # 14
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I can’t really give you too much advice And I know that’s not what you are looking for but call the police and ask for resources. I’ve never been in ur shoes, but I have seen the movie Enough. Please keep yourself safe. 

Post # 15
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
anonami:  I agree with everyone else. Move out now! And then sort out getting him evicted over the next few weeks. Eventually you will be able to sell the house and get a decent amount of money back.

Sadly, your husband will not change or improve without a miracle. This is not the man you thought you married. Please get out before he harms you.

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