Post # 1
Hey bees, BIL and his wife are expecting, in fact she’s due pretty soon. Darling Husband and I were discussing it and we can’t figure out what exactly is appropriate for visiting the new family. Do we go down when she’s in labor to sit with the rest of the family and see the new baby then? Do we wait until a few days after mom and baby are out of the hospital and then vist? I’m not really sure what the proper way to handle this is as neither my husband or myself have had anyone close to us have a baby. Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
I would actually as your BIL or his wife what they would prefer. Some new moms want a little bit of space and some welcome the crowds! I think it really depends on the couple.
Post # 4
I agree with @eva, you should ask them what they prefer! Future Sister-In-Law didn’t even let us know she was in labor, we got a cell phone picture from his mom after the birth (and we live 20 minutes from the hospital) :/
Post # 5
I think it would depend on the protocol in your particular family. In my family everyone, (parents, siblings, grandparents), would be out in the hall waiting the entire time.
Post # 6
Yeah, check with the couple. Even if the family prefers to do it one way, maybe the couple prefers something different. How thoughtful of you to think of this ahead of time. 🙂
Post # 7
yeah it totally depends! Some people don’t want any visitors the first two weeks, some are surrounded by family. Def. just ask – but do it in a way that they don’t feel obligated to have visitors early if they don’t want them. very nice of you to think of this 🙂
Post # 8
it depend on the family and friends. when i got to my csection i had almost 25 people at the hospital waiting for me to gave birth. 3 days later we got home and had every single member of the family and his came to our home that week. this is how it work in my family.
i think you should ask.
Post # 9
In my family its normal to wait a few days. Its like this unspoken rule in our family that on the first day only the baby’s grandparents visit, the next day the aunts, uncles and cousins start visiting, and the 3rd day friends of the family visit.
I’d ask you BIL and SIL what they prefer. I know when my stepmum had my sister she didn’t want any visitors the first day, and only my sister and I the next 2 days. But her family is all overseas, so they couldn’t visit anyway.
Post # 10
I would definitely check with your BIL & his wife to see what they would like. Me, personally, I don’t want anyone at all (except my husband ofcourse) there when we have the baby. Infact, we’re going to request atleast several hours after the baby is born until anyone shows up to see the baby…so just ask. They’ll appreciate it greatly I’m sure!
Post # 11
I actually had a friend pop into the delivery suite while I was in labour. I appreciated the thought, but really wasn’t in the best frame of mind for company.
I then spent 5 days in hospital desperatly wishing someone would visit to gove me someone to talk to. But I live about 3 hours return trip from the hospital, so by the time most finsihed work and got there, the visiting hours were over. I was going out of my mind, and desperatly wanted to go home. My problem was that i gave birth a week before christmas and there were no midwives avalable to do home visits during that time, so they wouldnt discharge me. frustrating!!!
So every circumstance is diffferent.
Post # 12
I just want to echo what most of the other ladies are saying- ask the couple, specifically your sil what she would prefer.
Post # 13
I think asking is the best thing. I thought I wanted some people there but I had my parents and my husbands parents and they were all laughing and chatting in the room while I was trying to focus on my contractions lol. It was really nice after they left to just spend time with my husband and baby – but I know other moms that just loved all the company!
Post # 14
Ditto all the above but also have them check with the hospital. Some don’t allow a certain number of guests and some don’t even allow kids.
Post # 15
All the advice to ask her preference is the BEST advice. But if she says she doesn’t want visitors, I would still make sure she knows you are thinking of her during her hospital visit by either sending flowers or a teddy bear for the baby. I really appreciated the little things people did to let me know they were thinking about me. But I did NOT appreciate my DH’s family calling DURING LABOR asking “Is she here yet?” (They all called each other so he was receiving calls from EVERYONE in the family…finally he turned off his phone because he couldn’t BELIEVE they would be that rude!) I also didn’t appreciate my SIL, who texted me, then tried calling my cell phone, and after not getting through either of those ways she called the hospital to have them connect her with my room! I was NOT in the mood for phone calls 45 minutes after delivery…seriously!
When you visit them at home, try to coordinate so that you are there with other family members. It’s hard to handle visitors coming at all different hours, it’s exhausting. Better to have everyone there at once! I’d also recommend bringing some food for them, they’ll be exhausted and hungry!