Post # 1
Our guest list overfloweth. Our venue is shrinking. Can we cut those who have already "cut" us?
It makes sense to me, but I could benefit from unbiased and/or experienced opinions: When guests let us know after receiving our Save-The-Date Cards that they won’t be attending, do we still have to send them invitations?
Don’t get me wrong: I’d love to see all our old friends. But these are mostly "fringe" folks whom we didn’t expect anyway. And the more I can nip this growing guest list in the bud, the more room I am certain that we have…and the more sleep I get at night.
On the other hand, I don’t want to give the impression of "well then, if THAT’s the way you’re going to be about it…no invite for you!"
Of course, family members who can’t attend will still receive invitations.
Looking forward to the buzz from the hive….
Post # 18
I’d say you should probably send the invite anyway (if you didn’t already)…especially after recently hearing some friends who felt a bit miffed at not receiving an invitation after mentioning they probably could not come to the wedding (they’d received a STD).
Post # 19
As a professional calligrapher, I advise my brides to always send an invitation. You never know, their plans may change and it would be a shame if they were never invited.
Post # 20
STD = Invite. I think that linzella nailed it. Add a quick handwritten note saying you understand that they may not make it but if their plans to change, they are still welcome.
Post # 21
I think that you should still send an invitation to them. We have already had a few people who said for sure that they wouldn’t come because of family obligations or moving out of town and they have RSVPed saying that they can make it now! I once told someone that I couldn’t come to the wedding and she didn’t even send me an invitation which I thought was really rude of her. It would have been nice for her to send me one since i knew she had extras left.
Post # 22
Hmm, I never saw a STD that you have to respond to. Anyway, I would def send invites
Post # 23
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Send invites. They may have changed their minds/calendars, and it’d be rude to promise an invitation and not send one.
Post # 24
- Wedding: April 2018 - The Grand Old House, Grand Cayman
I started running out of invitations because Dadzilla kept adding people to the guest list. So I decided not to send invitations to people who had already told us they definitely weren’t coming. There were only about 5 of them, and they were all men, so I don’t think they missed getting the invite at all. These were family members, like uncles and cousins, so they knew they had an open invitation regardless. I guess it just depends on your situation.
Post # 25
- Wedding: September 2018 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA
A friend of mine had a destination wedding years ago that I couldn’t attend due to finances. I told her this after she sent the Save-The-Date Cards, but I admit that it would have still been nice to receive an invitation. I didn’t, and it was a little hurtful. I still WANTED to be included, I just couldn’t afford to. Receiving an invitation would have been a nice gesture.
Post # 26
I think the only sure bet is to call and check… It sounds like some people would be hurt not to get one, and others would be confused and irritated (I already said I couldn’t come!), and might even read it as gift-fishing. If you call, I’d say something like "Hey, we know you said you couldn’t come, but we were thinking of sending you an invitation anyway. Is that alright?" Maybe they’ll say something like "Save yourself the trouble" or "I always lose them anyway" or something, and then you’re off the hook. I wouldn’t call and make it sound like you’re looking for permission not to send them one, though… then if they wanted it, they’d have to ask for it, and that would be uncomfortable.