(Closed) need to stop second guessing everything….

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I know how you feel.  I second guesses EVERY SINGLE THING except my FI!  After the venue was booked, I still looked at others.  I even reread the contract to see if I CAN get out of it without paying a lot. 

I second guessed my photographer because he didn’t have as many reviews as a lot of photographers in this area. 

I second guessed the bridesmaid dresses because the consultant picked it, I didn’t go out and look around for them.  But once I saw them at their fitting, I fell in love! 

I second guessed MY dress because I got the mermaid style and I am thin and felt I should be curvier in the dress, but after my 2nd fitting fell in love once again! 

I recently watched the video our videographer gave us and said darn why didn’t I just go with the one I originally liked!? ( Well because they were about $1500 more ) 

I second guessed picking a Sunday because I’m sick of hearing people say they have work the next day.. Um HELLO you knew about my wedding OVER A YEAR AND A HALF AGO, so you had PLENTY OF TIME to let them know you are taking off that Monday..

I second guessed my florist because she JUST OPENED her own shop, still wet behind the ears and all…

And NOW I’m thinking I should get a seperate limo for my Fiance and me because I don’t want to rush taking pictures and maybe having our moms and bridal party sit there for the hour and a half we have to get to the venue might be inconvenient for them, but isn’t that the norm?!

OVERALL, I think if I could do it all over again, I’d take my Fiance, go to the island we are going on our honeymoon, get married there, and have a dinner with everyone once we got back. 

So, I’m so sorry for taking over your thread for MY rant! LOL.  Just want you to know I’m in the same boat.  Our weddings are 6 days apart!    My nerves are shot!!

Post # 4
25 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hi ladies, 

I feel the same exact way…I wish I could just say…I picked this for a reason and that’s what I’m going with! I second guess everything too. I’m sure your weddings will be beautiful!! 🙂

Post # 5
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Tastebuds:  Thank you!  Yeah it’s probably just nerves, ya know. 

Post # 6
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

As someone who got married a month ago tomorrow, all I can say is, if there is something in the details that you want to change, and you have a specific enough vision to change it, do so. If you don’t, don’t bother changing things around last minute. It’s such a crunch time, it will not be worth your frazzled nerves.

Be very expressive to your vendors about what you want. On the day of the wedding, it will be too late (and hopefully you will be too full of joy to really let it bother you).

If you want one type of limo, say so and make sure that’s the only one that shows up.

If you want your roses to be opened as opposed to tight, make it known.

Be organized and make sure to communicate with your bridal party so that things are not forgotten in the heat of the moment. 

But please remember, it is still just one day. A beautiful and special one, but one that will fly by in an instant. In the end, the main things will be remembered in the best light and the little details you see in blogs and such will be forgotten.

Post # 8
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@girlwiththeredhair:  True… Oh and I forgot to mention my makeup/hair artist who I have left a deposit back in Feb, emailed about 2 months ago, called yesterday, and STILL haven’t heard from her!  I’m like omg if I don’t hear from her by Wed., I’m going to her studio to make sure she didn’t like leave the country or something.

Post # 9
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was just married two weeks ago and I did the same thing all throughout the planning but, I stuck with my initial choices and my wedding could not have been better (in my eyes). It was exactly how I had envisioned it and I can’t imagine a single thing being different.

Post # 10
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It’s perfectly natural to second guess and wish you had something else planned. We’ve all done it. But you’ll see: everything about your wedding will be PERFECT!!! 

Post # 11
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I totally understand.  I am a second guesser by nature, and I feel anxiety every time I commit to a decision.  I am worrying about our menu.  I am worrying about choosing a DJ over a band.  I also have extreme guilt every time we spend money on something, even though we are within budget.  For example, our invitations (perfect and exactly what we wanted!) are being printed now, and I am obsessing over how guilty I feel that we didn’t go with a slightly cheaper option.  It is wasted energy because they’re already paid for (and I love them!), yet I still feel guilty & worry about them.

I think one of the main “problems” with weddings is that there is so much pressure to make this ONE DAY exactly what you want it to be because you only get one shot at it.  It’s not like a birthday party where you get the chance to do something different every year, ya know?  There are just endless options for ideas & details that could make for a wonderful wedding, but we only get to choose one for each “category”!  I think it’s natural to second guess when you know you could have gone so many other directions…  It’s hard to commit to anything besides the groom!  Undecided

I know I need to take my own advice Wink – but I think you should remember why you made the decisions you made, and go easy on yourself.  You chose the details you did for a reason!  Your wedding will be beautiful and perfect for you.

Post # 13
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I totally agree. I keep thinking if I could do it over I would have done something this way or that way.

Then, I look back on all the stressful planning and I tell myself that I’m a complete BSC woman who would want to do this OVER?! Hell to the NO! I just want to be married please 🙂

Post # 14
38 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ladies thank you for this thread.   Our wedding is in three weeks and I can’t sleep because I am second-guessing everything about the day.   We chose a Bollywood-theme reception, which is ending up being incredibly difficult to create without it feeling (here’s THAT word again) – tacky.   And I chose a dramatic RED mermaid dress – that I LOVED the idea of – and suddenly I’m like – “why wasn’t I just happy with a simple flowy white number, barefoot on the beach?” I definitely wish I could go back in time and NOT do a wedding at all – and spend a fraction of the money – and elope.  


I can’t.  And everyone is coming.   And this thing is happening.  And I’m sure it will be FINE – but you get forced into all this nonsense – like worrying about having the dancing outside, in the grass (I am NOT spending MORE money on a dance floor) – or inside, on the delicate hardwood floors of the historic home.    So I have to keep telling people – PLEASE don’t wear high heels . . . and hope for the best either way. 


And I got all this bright colorful crepe paper to decorate outside – but I’m afraid it will make the historic ranch look tacky.


Everything is super blinged out – and over-the-top because I had all these fun visions when we first started out. 


And it SOUNDED fun – but the reality of it all – just is starting to feel like a circus instead of a simple union.


It feels gaudy and tacky – instead of simple and meaningful.



I just wish I had had an editor. 


Or SOMEONE to stop me from getting myself into this in the first place (and dragging my amazing, sweet Fiance into it too.)



I keep trying to stop flipping out. 


It’s gonna be fine. 


But yes – I’m definitely second-guessing it all.


I committed us to a big wedding, and now wish we had eloped. 

I committed us to spending way more than we initially talked about spending.  (We’re not going into debt or anything – and at first it didn’t seem like a crazy amount – but now it feels crazy).

I committed myself to a theme that is VERY difficult to do well and follow through on.

I love our expensive venue – but now it’s proving somewhat impractical as a space due to the aforementioned dancing issue.


I mean – there is very little I am not second-guessing right now. 


So all I can do is breathe – cut back on the gaudiness here and there – and then try to just go with it. 


But at this point – I just want to get it over with so I can just wake up with my partner and go on with our normal lives.


I seriously just want to get it over with.


I’m BARELY excited at all.




Anyway – it does help to know I’m not crazy and not alone in the madness. 


I’m just mad at myself for not having the foresight to see that this would be so hard. 


*facepalm*  *headdesk*  

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