Need to the break the cycle

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
9042 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If you are in a relationship where you are continually having breaks then it is clearly not a healthy relationship. 

I think your (ex) partner is right as it does sound like he needs to get himself sorted out.

Break ups are hard so don’t feel bad for feeling like you do but it will get better with time.

I also think you need to acrually break up. This to and fro whilst “broken up” is not healthy for either of you. You need to be strong and put a stop to it. You will never heal if you are both still relying emotionally on each other.

Post # 3
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Mal_Adjusted :  hey Bee, you know what the right thing to do is. He has told you he doesn’t want to be with you. Cut contact and let this relationship go. 

Youre worth so much more than being dragged along and broken up with repeatedly. 

Post # 4
Member
4254 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Move on.  This is too much turmoil for any relationship.  It is painfully obvious that you are not a priority to him.  Stop making him your priority because he doesn’t care about you as much as you do him.  He is showing you true colors being in the military and having the stress of that type of job.

Post # 5
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Going back through your old posts, this has not changed in TWO YEARS. 

Its hard, and I’m sorry you’re going through such a difficult time, but like you said you have so much to offer to a man. Go find the right one for you that will give you the world that you deserve! 

 

Post # 6
Member
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Why do you want to be with someone you have to convince?

Post # 7
Member
2491 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

That many break ups in a relationship is not healthy.  How do you see a marriage working if you can’t just break up? Month long break ups a year sounds like a vacation. Will you constantly throw divorce around? This is so uhealthy and dysfunctional. I think you really need to focus on yourself and then when you are ready open yourself up to meeting new people.  This toxic cycle is going to get you nowhere fast. Believe him when he tells you this isn’t right anymore. You WILL be okay. Give yourself time but please end this cycle. 

Post # 8
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Mal_Adjusted :  Long distance is hard. I had a relationship like yours. Actual relationship was 6-7 months. But we just couldn’t quit each other. It went on for 3 years. We were long distance for the entire time. 

I think our relationship was hard because there was never an end to the long distance. I could never get him to commit to a plan where we would both be living in the same city.

I remember the exact moment I was done with him. He told me that he just didn’t have the energy to talk to me on the phone in the evenings. I told him I was done, do not contact me again.

I met now Darling Husband a week later.

I think this relationship has run its course. My advice, block him everywhere and date yourself. Figure out what you like to do. Make new friends, mend some old friendships. Take your bestie and take a trip. There’s so much more to life than waiting for someone to make up his mind about you.

Post # 9
Member
10587 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Mal_Adjusted :  

I am perpetually astounded at the time and energy women will devote to analyzing, explaining, and excusing faithless men.

He breaks up and you immediately set about excusing it—it ‘felt’ like a panic attack (apparently, to you, anyway), compartmentalizing—do you want a bf or a project?

This is not how relationships are supposed to go.  They’re supposed to be fun, especially in the early stages.  There is much too much sturm und drang here.

He keeps trying to end it.  Let him.  Let go.

Put your energy into getting yourself healthy.

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