(Closed) Need to un-invite best friend

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@avayax:  If you truly want her out of your life, I can’t think of a better way to accomplish that than to say “you’re not invited.”

Post # 4
Member
3783 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@badabing88:  I was literally about to type the same thing.

Post # 5
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Just tell her that you’re having a private, intimate wedding with a very small guest list and that you look foward to celebrating with her after your wedding. 

 

Post # 6
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

@avayax:  Wish I had advice…I’m going through a similar situation, except this friend is in the wedding party as of now, with about 15 months to go. Plenty of time to start major drama!

I assume you’ve sent invitations, and she didn’t get one? That is how you made it sound, so that really should have been a pretty big hint for her. I agree with @badabing88: that it’s a good way to kill two birds with one stone, but yeah, it’s not going to be fun.

Post # 7
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@lulu_honey:  Why give her the idea that there will be any celebrating with her afterwards?  No invite makes things crystal clear.

Post # 10
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@avayax:  Then I’d just lay it out there “I’m sorry you felt you were invited, but we did not include you.”

Post # 11
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

“Give her a list of things to do”? Is she assuming she’s a guest or assuming she’s a bridesmaid?

Pretty presumptuous, unless you somehow led her to believe she’d be both invited and involved, though it sounds like you haven’t spoken to her at all. In any case, I agree with @badabing88. If you truly want to cut ties with her, then make it a clean break.

Post # 14
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@avayax:  Wait, wait, wait. Now her mom is coming? I would need to nip this in the bud. It’s getting out of hand, and it’s not fair to either of you for it to drag out.

Post # 15
Member
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@avayax:  I had a friend like this once. She was a horrible friend most of the time, but when there was a big event, she wanted to “help” in anyway possible. Over time I figured out that she felt she was “banking up friend points” during those big moments, so I felt obligated to her and she could treat me however she wanted the rest of the time. 

So… if she’s really a bad friend that you want out of your life, you’ll have to be blunt with her and it will absolutely end the friendship. There is no going back from that. If you are unsure about actually ending the friendship you could try saying it’s “family only”, but that will still most likely end the friendship. If you want her in your life, you’re going to have to accept that she will come, but say you don’t need her mom to take pictures and it’s a very small wedding so you can’t invite the mom at all.

Post # 16
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@mrs_pudding_pop:  Or just take that part out.  Or just never contact her again. 

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