Post # 1
So I spent the day with the FI’s extended family and the guys in the family are aaesome but his aunt and his cousin’s gf left me so angry and made me feel like crying!
i only saw them once before the girlfriend was super friendly! The aunt though tried telling me how to do my job and told me to take my pies back I boring for thanksgiving (I had offered to do pies 2 weeks prior) because they were not homemade.
well today was the first time I has seen her since we got engaged and she immediately started with “the cousin’s gf was surprised you got married since you barely know each other! The cousin and she have been together for x number of years and they aren’t engaged!” She then proceeded to ask how long we have known each other and told us that we barely know each other. She then started digging around for wedding plans (which is normal) and proceeded to tell us that it would be extremely difficult for any family to attend and we should reconsider…we weren’t planning on inviting people, just eloping. then the women shunned me for the next couple of hours. The cousin’s gf? Didn’t talk, make eye contact or even say goodbye to me but she sure as did my Fiance standing right NEXT to me.
Post # 2
Sorry you had a bad day with FH’s family. I don’t understand why some people can’t just be happy for others.
Post # 3
Oh well. Stay friendly and do what you can to form a relationship. You can’t control what they say and do. It doesn’t really matter what their opinion is.
This is an opportunity for some self reflection. How well do you really know each other? Are you preparing for marriage with premarital counseling? If any of her concerns are partly valid, address them with your Fiance and ignore anything else.
Post # 4
apparently almost 2 years together with a wedding 17 months out from now is considered too short for her. weve been living together for over a year and have worked through our fair share from money to hardships to balancing responsibilities. I would not have said yes if we had not known each other well enough. I think the aunt and cousins gf are more upset because the cousin isn’t engaged but they are still in college and working out their life! frustrating!
Post # 5
Sounds like she really despises storebought pies.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall
Sounds like the aunt is friendsies with the cousin’s gf (since she’s probable met her and hung out with her more) and is upset that she isn’t engaged yet. The cousin’s gf probably feels the same. Two years is plenty of time to know each other for marriage, specially if you’ve already been living together for half that time. Ignore them, they’re idiots.
Post # 7
they already had issue with you but everything got compounded when you said “elope”— not everyone takes kindly to people eloping. Weddings are a big deal. People will react snarkily after you elope, too. So I guess this was good practice. My best advice is to stop tying to befriend those family members, eventually they will or won’t consider you family. And when people hate on you for eloping in the future, calmly remind yourself that this marriage is about you two.
Post # 8
Shrug, be civil, and limit your interactions.
Post # 9
When I first read this, I also thought the girlfriend +/- the extended family might resent that the cousin hasn’t yet married the girlfriend yet. I also wonder if there are broader philosophical differences that might make them less welcoming of you.