(Closed) Need to vent about dress (long) :(

posted 8 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Keep it if you still feel beautiful in it…but if this girl is creeping you out, find a new dress ASAP and don’t tell anyone!

Post # 4
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would most certainly NOT find a new dress.. you found it first and she has to know that she’s being obnoxious. I’m not sure what good telling her will do, but I think you should anyway–you have to work with her and see her all the time and unless you get your feelings out there, they will just fester and everything she does will start irritating you. Tell her that you were never thrilled about her getting the same dress as you (what bride would be?) but now that she’s getting married before you, it’s a different ballgame.

on a side note, what a bitch..

Post # 5
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh my goodness…I can’t believe how many girls this happens to. A good friend of mine had this exact same thing happen to her. She bought her dress, told her fiance’s friend’s fiance (got that??) about it, and she went out and bought the same dress. Their wedding was a month before my friend’s wedding, and she was absolutely crushed. She tried to talk her into not buying the dress or finding another dress, but she wouldn’t budge. Of course she wouldn’t. Her wedding was before my friend’s.

My friend had a huge decision to make. Her fiance was in this wedding since it was his friend’s fiance who “stole” the dress from her, so he was going to see her dress on another girl a monthe before their wedding. She didn’t take to that too well, so she ended up buying a new dress. I completely understand her decision, and absolutely don’t blame her one bit for buying a new dress. I did try to give her the other angle of her fiance being a boy, and boys never remember the wedding gown of a wedding they’ve been at, but she just felt too strongly that she didn’t want him seeing her dress on another girl before she wore it.

Does your fiance know that she’s wearing the same dress? If not, and your dress is THE dress, and you don’t think you can find another one like it, then rock it! Don’t tell your Fiance and then look killer in it ;o) But, if you part with it, then I don’t think you’re in the wrong. Just make sure you don’t tell anyone the details of your next dress. And don’t tell this girl any other details of your wedding either!!!

By the way, did she buy the dress yet? Sometimes dresses look great on the models, but not great on someone’s specific body type. Maybe she’ll change her mind when she tries it on? Can you talk to her and tell her now that no, it does bother you and she really shouldn’t have asked if she could buy it too? Maybe she’ll be more reasonable than my friend’s dress stealer.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you! It’s every bride’s worst nightmare!!

Post # 6
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wow!!  How unoriginal she is.  There are so many dresses out there and she happened to fall in love with the one you bought! 

Did she buy the dress already??  If it were me…I would make it known that SHE COPIED YOU!!  That way even if she has the wedding before you and both of you have the same guests, she looks like the fool and not you.  But that is just me.  I know it’s a little malicious but what the other girl did is really bitchy too!

Post # 7
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

 There is certain wedding etiquette and buying the same dress as someone else you know is totally crossing a line.  I told my friend that I booked the zoo for my wedding and she told all of her friends and now 2 other people from my home town are getting married at the zoo BEFORE ME.  So now it looks like I am copying them.  I understand your pain completely. 

Post # 8
44 posts
  • Wedding: January 2015

Reading that, I thought it was all fine until you said she’d changed her wedding to before yours. I’m sorry, but it sounds like she knows what she’s doing and she’s being completely rude and I’m impressed you’ve been so cool and polite.

My only recommendation is to focus on some amazing accessories that compliment YOU and YOUR dress

Post # 9
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I’d be hurt and frustrated as well, but I wouldn’t change your dress.  Weddings aren’t competitions and while finding a dress IS a very personal experience it is not the end all be all of your wedding.  Unless you tell us that she’s getting married at your venue with the same colors and same menu and same Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, etc then hold your help high and continue as planned.

Best wishes!

Post # 10
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Since you showed your classmates first and got engaged first, surely they would know Beth was a copycat and give credits to you!!! Stick with your dress if it’s totally you!

Post # 11
1765 posts
Buzzing bee


I just thought I’d tell  you a story.  I have 41 first cousins, and years ago two of the women, a cousin and a Fiance of a cousin got married the same summer and chose the same dress, without knowing what each other bought.  I can tell you that I am sure that the women realized it when the first woman wore hers, but I can also tell you that because they had different shapes, different veils and other accessories NO ONE noticed!  In fact I didn’t even realize that this had happened until last summer when my aunt mentioned the story about her daughter’s wedding -when she came to attend my daughter’s wedding.   So do what makes you happiest – but realize that most of your guests will probably forget/not think about it once you have your hair done and your accessories on!   

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