(Closed) Need to vent about my BM/FSIL (LONG)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, you could always excuse her. But if not, tell Fiance how you feel and see if he can talk to her.

Post # 4
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh no!  She is obviously being difficult but she may just not realize it.  She was consumed with trying to have a baby and now that she is having a baby she will probably just continue along that path.  That totally stinks but don’t let it upset you.  That’s how a LOT of women are.  And I’ve noticed that a lot of them have no idea The dress that the girls chose, is it impossible for someone who just had a baby to wear?  In the end, I’d just tell her she has to wear SOMETHING and leave it alone! 

Post # 7
1580 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not sure why she isn’t able to go dress shopping or reply to emails just because they were trying to get preggers, and that would really annoy me.

But I can see why she might be upset or not taking it well. It seems to me that she doesn’t want to steal your attention and be the only one wearing a different dress- she wants to blend in, not stick out.

Post # 8
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Um, why would trying to get pregnant keep you from going dress shopping? I mean… they can’t be CONSTANTLY trying to get pregnant. They’d end up in the hospital. 😉

Post # 9
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I can understand that it’s difficult.  You were willing to have them pick different (but similar) dresses.  Since they all basically want the same dress, you kind of have to say “get the same dress”.  Otherwise it’s seems weird to have 3 Bms in the same dress, and one in something different. 

But if the dress that was picked doesn’t have a maternity option, what can she do?  Can she find something similar that will work for her, and have it adjusted in some way to look like the others?  I suppose she could get a larger size, but sometimes they don’t alter that well. 

Can you post a pic of the dress?  Before I made any concrete decisions, I would talk to the gals at the dress shop to see what can be done about a prego Bridesmaid or Best Man and the dress selection.  Good luck.


Oh, and if she will be due two weeks before the wedding, that is cutting it awfully close.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she just can’t make it.  Sometimes when you’re that far along you find one or more of the following:

1. you’re on bed rest

2. you feel way too bloated/fat/tired to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man

3. might find it difficult to do all that standing and rushing around

4. might already have had the baby.  (due dates naturally have a two week swing on them, meaning the baby could be born two weeks early and still be considered full term, not preemie.)

I’m just not sure if she wants to put all the money and effort into being a Bridesmaid or Best Man and have to bow out at the last minute.  FWIW.

Post # 11
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Ugg.  I can see why you say the one with the maternity opt. makes everyone look pregnant.  but it’s not bad.  It also says they are both satin.  Have you seen them both in the store?  Just from the picture they don’t look like the same material.  But if they are, it helps.  

I suppose it wouldn’t be the worst thing to let her have the maternity opt.  They are both strapless, and same length.    If she gets the dress that the other girls like, only in a larger sise, hopefully altering would work.  (That would be the best in my mind.)  However, I kind of wonder if a dress that style could really work on a very pregnant gal.  Maybe some other bees know.  But just the whole gathering on the side thing, has me a little concerned.

Post # 13
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Her finding a dress would be tricky anyway since she may not even be preggers at wedding time. So She may or may not fit into a maternity dress. If that were the case I would want to be a lot more proactive in looking! Sorry she is being a pain! Hope she really starts getting back to you other than just the one e-mail!

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