- 5 years ago
OK, my fiance has now heard most of these vents here and there along the way, but I’m still so upset about so many things from my wedding and I don’t want to burden anyone with them, so I’m going to write them all down here.
My bridesmaids: Could not get them for the life of me to pick a day to go shopping to find bridesmaids dresses so I ended up taking fiance and finding their dresses, buying all the sizes, taking them to their homes, and then had to wait weeks for them to pay me back and return the unwanted dress sizes.
My mother: She just lost her job a couple months ago so I was totally hoping she was going to be a big help planning and everything with me. No luck. She drank too much at the wedding and then instead of taking time to look nice she did dishes (which could have waited until clean up time) in the middle so she had a huge wet stain on her dress all day. It was embarassing. Almost the only thing she helped pay for was the wine/champagne and she took all the leftovers home. That’s what you get when you have an alcoholic mother I guess.
Mother-in-law: She hated the dress I picked out and LOVED that was in my budget because it showed a tiny bit of cleavage. Rather than create a huge fight with her at my dress shopping day, I caved and picked the only other dress that looked half decent on me, which was $200.00 over my budget, on her promise that she was a great seamstress and she would do the hemming and bustle. She did the hemming a week before and my dress ended up being 3 inches too long all the way around, I couldn’t walk in it, had to hold it up all day, and she didn’t do the bustle until the DAY OF THE WEDDING, making me late to get to the venue for set up at a DIY WEDDING! The bustle kept falling out, she acted resentful when I went to her to have her try to fix it, and by the end of the day the bottom of my dress was almost black and completely ruined. I have cried at least 5 times since the wedding over the sad state of my dress. I feel like she tried to intentionally sabotage my wedding so she could keep her momma boy son single and hers. Then before/after the wedding she sat there and did NOTHING to help set up/clean up but managed to yell at my family members that they weren’t doing things right. I had to have my husband talk to her and make her stop because she was upsetting people. To top it off, she and her husband did not sit at Table 1 with my family which felt like a complete insult. They just chose to change tables to sit with father-in-law’s boss and co-worker which he invited without even asking us (he helped address invites). He promised they would bring a great gift. They gave us a $25 gift card. It didn’t even cover their meal.
Best Man: Is my husband’s brother. Did absolutely NOTHING to help at all. He picked a cheap tux shop over my preference to a reputable solid place, so the boys didn’t get their suits until the DAY OF the wedding and even then they were not properly tailored and I stared at a set-in stain on my husband’s vest during the ceremony. The place didn’t even accept credit cards (are you serious?) and we STILL have not received our deposits back. He gave a 3 WORD best man speech and it felt like he stood up there and held his middle finger out at us. He didn’t help with set up or clean up and left the wedding after about 2 hours. My husband still hasn’t talked to him about it.
My hair dresser and makeup artist (gifts from two of my bridesmaids) did EVERYONE else’s makeup and hair BEFORE mine, further making me 2 hours late to setup for my DIY wedding.
My fiance and I planned everything to a T and I spent a lot of time and effort to make sure everything would look perfect. Apparently his memory went to crap on the day of the wedding and he could not remember anything and the girls all told him not to call me and bug me. Hello, this is a DIY wedding, it’s pretty important at least the tables are set in the correct places so they can get set with dishes etc. So I arrive an hour before the ceremony and had to fly around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to nicely give orders to everyone I could see on what to do because the 2 hours before that apparently NOTHING got done. Not one call to me, so I assumed everything was going smoothly while I was helpless sitting in a chair waiting for my makeup/hair to get finished. I should have just done my own after set up because my hair and makeup was nearly ruined with all the running around I did in that hour and there was no time for touchups.
I assigned very specific easy tasks to everyone in the wedding party/family so noone would be overwhelmed or wonder what to do the day of. Hardly anyone did the one task I gave them so I did them all (what I could) when I arrived. I think they honestly almost all stood around and chatted for two hours until I arrived.
I put a beautiful $500.00+ cake on top of a table with a table cloth that was not even ironed. We bought an expensive cake cutter/server set from Things Remembered. Apparently the knife broke while aunt-in-law was cutting the cake after we did and mother-in-law decided to just throw it out. I could have taken it back and had it replaced, too late now.
My father-in-laws job was to pick up the tuxes and make sure the ceremony table was set up. We had no wine for our first communion. We used a half drank water bottle right at the last minute to fill our wine glasses. I’m sorry Jesus. Your blood was a little lighter that day.
My step-dad does professional sound for city’s and all kinds of venues. He had drank so much an hour into the wedding that he could no longer operate the computer or sound board. I ended up DJ’ing my own music the rest of the wedding.
About 20 people that RSVP’ed DID NOT SHOW UP AT ALL. That is just plain rude and bad manners and cost us a lot of money for people that did not even show up! A couple had valid excuses (wife in the ER, okay…. you thought it was the next weekend NOT OKAY!).
Photographer: Apparently did not notice that my grandfather (who walked me down the aisle) photobombed all of our group shots. So I do not have one good picture of JUST the wedding party to hang on the wall. He also did not direct anyone to stand properly or line up nicely so we spent a pretty penny on photos that are kind of embarassing really. I didn’t realize I needed to stand in front of everyone and direct that too. Isn’t that what we were paying him for?
Halfway through our ceremony a trash truck did it’s super loud backup beeping in the parking lot next door to our venue and interupted everything. We all had a good laugh because what else can you do? At least it loosened me up because I was so nervous and shaking about not having any time to calm down or prepare before the ceremony. I put my dress on about 2 minutes before I walked down the aisle. That trash truck is probably the only thing that gave me the courage to say “I DO” when the time came.
To top it all off…. my step-father and step-mother had laryngitis the week before the weddding, came by our house unannounced, and I ended up completely sick for our ENTIRE honeymoon. Thousands of dollars on a beach front hotel room…. sick in bed. I did my best to make sure my husband still enjoyed himself but I was completely miserable.
On the day of, I pushed all negativity aside and did my best to simply ignore ALL of the snafu’s and major mess ups and to anyone that didn’t know, I’m sure it all looked fine and beautiful. I did have a good day overall. I thanked everyone for their help a million times and did my best to be gracious and a good hostess. But all of these things have been eating me alive since that day (especially the dress issue) and I don’t want to express them to anyone. I am thankful for the help our family and friends gave us, but man am I glad I never have to go through that day again! If for some reason this marriage doesn’t work out down the road (I’m kind of a lifer kind of girl though), I’m not getting married unless there is enough money to have everything done by professionals! Granted, we probably saved about $15k-$20k by doing things the way we did, but is it really worth it when you remember your wedding day as a rushed hot mess?