(Closed) Need to vent because I cancelled my wedding

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

no judgement, but thank god you left enough is enough.

Post # 5
Member
61 posts
Worker bee

@calichamps4:  im sorry this is happening to you. To be honest its good you separated.  If he wont get the help he needs then it would belike th is the rest of your lives. Ever commitment would be this back and forth thing.  

Post # 6
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Awww have ya’ll looked into the source of his fear? Are his parents still together? Did they go through a bad split? anyone in his life been through a bad split up? Has he been 100% faithful or is it a committiment issue? It a horrible situation you are in. I’m so sorry you are having to hurt because of the person you love.

Post # 7
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@calichamps4:  I don’t think you are being pushy at all.  It is normal to want to plan a wedding if you are engaged.  It doesn’t help that he’s wishy washy.  Maybe you taking it completely off the table will be his wake up call.  You shouldn’t have to be in a situation where you feel that way.  I think he will pull it together if he has time not to have to “think” about it.  Hey, you know, I also have anxiety and for the longest time, weddings freaked me out, or at least the thought of me being in one.  It had not so much to do with the other person as the situation.  Eloping caused me no anxiety.  Maybe it’s all the fluff that is freaking him out?  Ask him how he feels about eloping, just the two of you and see what his response is.  Maybe you will find that it isn’t marriage, but the wedding itself that is causing anxiety.

Post # 9
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

*hugs*

Im so sorry youve had to go through all this.  You deserve so much more.. someone who will love you and commit to you! Youve done the right thing. No one can spend their whole lives waiting on this yo yo roller coaster.  Hes most likely going to come crawling back when the reality sinks in, but you have to be strong! Remember that you deserve so much more, and when he calls you, just start singing Beyonce to him. (Single Ladies, to the left, If i were a boy.. there`s so many)

Post # 10
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Im so sorry to hear all this 🙁 i think you deserve, at the very least, to know exaclty where you stand with him. Is he calling of the wedding, or the engagement all together? There has got to be nothing worse than being thrown around emotionally and not knowing where you stand. It sounds like you really need to sit down and have a deaply open and honest look at what you both want in life. Wish you all the best and i hope it works out for you one way or another x

Post # 11
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@calichamps4:  Ok, then I think you absolutely made the right decision.  He has to figure out his deal.  I know how hard it is, but it is for the best at this point in time.  Hugs!

Post # 13
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

im really sorry to hear you have gone through all this to this end, but honestly you have done the right thing.

 

Thats way too much back and forth for something so important. I don’t know what else to say except you must be a strong woman to have worked through all of that with him and not left until now.  Don’t beat yourself up over that…I have done something similar (and over a much longer period of time lol) myself, and what I have learned is it made me who I am today and opened my eyes to what I will and will not do in the future.

 All you can do is try and look towards YOUR future and focus on yourself right now *hugs*

Post # 14
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@calichamps4:  I think cancelling your wedding is a really brave decision. I’ve talked about this elsewhere on weddingbee, but I have generalized anxiety disorder.  Fortunately, it’s mild enough that I am able to manage it and be a good partner to my bf. But a lot of that was because I wanted to get help. If your ex-FI was not even willing to seek out treatment, knowing that it might mean losing you, then I think you made the right decision. Don’t feel bad about not leaving sooner — you left when it was right for you and after you genuinely tried to make the relationship work. But you can’t do it all on your own. *Hugs* to you. 

Post # 15
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m sorry to hear this 🙁 But you’re right, you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. 

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