(Closed) Need to vent because I cancelled my wedding

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

sounds to me like you found your “BETTER or WORSE” and this seems to be the worst.  So, if you cannot handle it now, you wont be able to in the future…


good thing you saw it before it happened:)  took courage. 

Post # 18
150 posts
Blushing bee

Anxiety is a horrible monster and ruins lives all around.  Unless your ex-FI was really conscious of his problem and really committed to working on this issue, you were signing up for a lifetime of suffering.  As someone with terrible anxiety, I know that I have inflicted a lot of stress on partners in the past – it has been very very hard to tackle this issue and I know it will be a lifelong battle.  It is not a task for the faint of heart and your ex seemed like he was no where near getting there yet. 

Now is a time to give love to yourself – you put your ex-FI first for so long.  I’m sorry this has been so difficult.  Hugs and hang in there!


Post # 19
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

So sorry to hear you’ve been going through this. I think it’s great you finally have the strength to say enough is enough.

Post # 20
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

View original reply
@calichamps4  Have you broken up now, or did you just cancel the wedding again? Love makes us do foolish things and sometimes deal with behaviour we shouldn’t and there’s nothing you can do about it now. We can’t change the past, we can just make the future better 🙂 I do hope that you did leave because it sounds like you both need some space to figure out what you want.

Imagine you were actually married and he kept changing his mind about whether or not he is committed to you. That is no way to live. Your Fiance is supposed to provide support and make your life better, not worse. Of course money isn’t the biggest concern, but it is still so unfair that you are the one to lose thousands of dollars over his indecisiveness.

He is the one who proposed to you and if he is unsure now then it’s best he takes some time to sort his head so that you don’t have to be under constant stress. Weddings are supposed to be fun and all about your love and commitment. Your Fiance is completely missing the mark.

Speaking from experience, I lost my first Fiance after 9 years. You will come to terms with this and when you meet the man you are supposed to be with, you will realize that losing the first guy wasn’t such a big loss after all!


Post # 22
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sorry you’ve had to go through that for so long – I hope you feel some sense of relief from being off that emotional rollercoaster.  You don’t want to be with someone who won’t get help despite the fact they’re hurting you so much. He’s a jerk and you’re better off without someone playing head games with you.  Anxiety or not, if he loved you, he wouldn’t do that to you.

Post # 23
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That sounds like complete torture.  You did the right thing. 

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