Post # 1
I’m currently waiting for my boyfriend to propose (yay!!!) and I’m so over the moon excited! The ring decision was super long and has taken like 2 years for me to make a decision. I’ve went from loving big stones on plain bands to double halos and even triple halos then back to solitaires. I’ve changed my mind countless times on the shape I wanted. Finally, I decided to go with a beautiful 8.5mm (2.5 carats) round solitaire (moissy) w a pave band in rose gold and I am just so excited to get it on my finger lol.
anyway, through all of this excitement, someone close to my boyfriend has decided to say to him without me being present very recently “why are you getting her a fake ring? Wouldn’t she rather a small perfect real diamond over a big fake ring?” Now this does not bother ME as I’ve been pretty open about the size I wanted and how I do not want to wait years and years to save up for a diamond ring of that size only to then realize I don’t want to spend all those years of savings on a ring that is just the materialistic part of my relationship. This has been a decision that I’m 100% comfortable with and happy that I’ve made.
HOWEVER the reason I’m so upset is because while my boyfriend was telling me that someone said this to him, for a split second he looked so ashamed that he isn’t getting me something “real.” I said to him “of course it’s real!! Is it going to be an imagineary ring? It’ll be on my finger it’s a real engagement ring” We have a comfortable budget where I can get a diamond ring 1-1.5 carats but I want a lot of finger coverage and do not want halos. This is just my preference so in order to get what I know I’ll be 1000% happy with forever I want a moissy. I explained this to him and told him that if he’s really not happy getting me this ring we can look at diamonds again. After having a long talk he said he wanted to get me what I wanted and that he’s been saving for so long that he’s happier NOT spending the majority of it on a ring if it’s not what I want. I was happy that he felt this way but now I’m worried that because of other people’s judgements he’ll have regrets. He told me that if people ask about it we don’t need to tell them anything if we know they’re only fishing for info to pass judgements (unfortunately there’s lots of these people in his family) Idk guys, anyone have anything that can help me feel better about this? I just want him to look at my ring and be proud of it because he’s the one giving it to me.
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
People suck and have no idea what they’re talking about. You’re doing the right thing by being encouraging to your boyfriend, and letting him know that you’re still thrilled with your choice. Just keep doing that, and let him know that other people’s opinions aren’t worth shit and he can choose not to listen to them.
Post # 3
- Wedding: February 2018 - UK
You know what you want, and that’s the ring you should have. Mine is a peridot, and while most people have been really complimentary, there have been two or three who made snide comments about not having a diamond. It’s none of their business, I chose the ring, I’m the one who is wearing it, and I love it.
If other people don’t think yours is good enough, they can sod off, their opinion on it doesn’t matter x
Post # 4
This type of petty bullshit is best to be ignored or, better yet, called out. If that person says something again tell your BF to say “Wow. That’s a really rude question. I’m getting her what she loves. What kind of terrible fiance would I be if I got her something you wanted instead of what she wanted?” and then keep it moving.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2007 - City, State
it should be what you want, not what makes him comfortable or socially acceptable in your friend and family circles. If you are mature enough to get married, you’re mature enough to handle criticism. Stupid criticism in my opinion.
Tell these people to do some research on the diamond trade and how diamonds are sourced in general, as well as the ridiculous price inflation at typical jewelry stores.
I wish I knew about Moissanites 10 years ago when buying my set. I love what I have, but I would have gone with a Moissanite hands down had I known they existed. They are gorgeous, AND ethical. Save the extra money for other things. Most importantly, wear your ring with pride and don’t let people rain on your parade with their negativity.
Post # 6
People are going to make comments no matter what. I have a small 0.3 round solitaire but the diamond is best cut color clarity, it’s INSANE. That’s what I wanted! But people always say “oh that’s cute” or “that’s what you wanted?” Everyone will make remarks or have thoughts whether it’s small, large, tacky, not a diamond, so as long as you’re happy who cares what everyone else thinks? Just smile, tell them you love your choice and tell people it’s not up for discussion! 🙂
Post # 7
I can relate to you on some level.
when I was looking at rings I fell in love with a cluster diamonds instead of a solid stone diamond. And I had a few people say oh it’s just cause it’s cheaper.
And in all honesty I just loved the look of all the tiny diamonds vs the one big one. And we could’ve afforded one big stone but it’s your preferences that matters not what people expect
If that’s what you like and are comfortable with then don’t worry about it. You have to wear it. Not anyone else. I think it sounds beautiful.
Post # 8
I hear you but you & your BF should let it go or you will drive yourselves crazy. When we first got engaged we had a friend over for dinner, the friend marvled at how big my ring was and then confused (and slightly judgemental) when we explained it was a moissanite. But he’s the type of guy that would spend a signifcate amount of money on a large diamond and we aren’t, so his prespective was different. That’s all. It felt slightly uncomfortable at first but I let it go and I am still oh so happy with our choice. If your BF bought you a smaller diamond, I am sure he would’ve gotten flack for not getting you a bigger diamond. It’s really a lose lose situation if you both dwell on other people’s opinions. His friend probably meant no harm but also has no knowledge about moissanite.
Congratulations on your soon to be engagement! All that matters is the opinions you and your partner share.
Post # 9
Some people just don’t get it. I have tons of respect for someone who chooses a moissy over a diamond to save money. It’s a smart move. The problem is that in some people’s minds moissy = fake, and that’s not going to go away anytime soon. Your fiance has to learn to take it in stride and consider the source. Anyone who would belittle your choice in material objects is not someone you want as a friend, unless you have a thing for shallow, superficial people. And in 20 years I predict that moissy will be no big deal, so you guys are ahead of the curve.
Post # 10
I think you’re doing the right thing – and I’m glad for you sticking up for want you want and reassuring your Boyfriend..
If people ask or comment – you dont have to tell them anything other than, yes isnt it GORGEOUS! Its exactly what I want, isnt Boyfriend a little dreamboat!
I do also think after you get engaged and the initial questions and attention, the likelihood of people talking to your boyfriend about your ring rather than you will be slim to none – so he’ll soon forget about any doubt / regrets he thought he might have – especially when he sees how happy you are showing it off!
p.s. people are idiots. Why anyone would say that to your boyfriend is BEYOND ME – and they would quickly be off my Christmas Card list..!
Post # 11
Just don’t talk to people about it. Is it a rude asshole comment? Yep, but unfortunately those kinds of people are assholes and will continue to make rude comments about others no matter what. They’re the same people that will piss on your baby name, or give you shit about the kind of house you buy. Real friends will keep their mouth shut and tell you congratulations, not beat down your choice of engagement ring. If you want a Moissy and are comfortable with your decison just ignore them.
Plenty of people think it’s insane to spend thousands on a real diamond. That’s their choice not to get one or get something small and in a managable price range. Likewise, there are plenty of people who think it’s insane to spend what it costs on a Moissy for something they don’t percieve as “real”. There will always be people who are assholes about it simply because they think a diamond is superior. Then there are people like me who have a totally different opinion. I’ll be 100% honest, I’ve always been a diamond girl. After hearing a lot of talk about Moissys I decided to go look at some online. I priced out a simple solitare and sidestones and it was over $2,000. I thought to myself “holy shit I cannot for the life of me imagine paying that kind of money for a fake diamond”. And before people jump down my throat me saying “fake diamond” is just MY perception of it. $2,000 is a lot of money no matter which way you slice it. That doesn’t mean that I think any less of someone with a moissy. It doesn’t make one bit of difference for me what someone else picks for their ring.
My point is, your boyfriend’s friend sound like an asshole. Ignore them and rock your ring.
Post # 12
Everyone has an opinion, I was told that we spent too much on my engagement ring and it was only £1900, some bees here are spending more than ten times that amount, it’s all relative. Some people love moissanite, for others it will always be a “fake diamond”. You can’t please everyone, don’t take it personally, as long as you love your ring and you can afford it that’s all that matters.
Post # 13
The only opinions that matter are yours and your future Fiance.
I have a 0.9 ct diamond solitaire, and when DH was showing it to folks, there were numerous ladies in his office that said it was way too small, that I’d hate it, that I wouldn’t say yes (WTF?) etc etc etc. Could we have afforded more? Sure. But we were also in the process of buying a house, and honestly, I would have been fine with no e ring.
Ignore them, or better yet, tell them off.
Post # 14
unfortunately people are assholes , this happens to almost half of girls with mossy engagement rings. My friend has a mossy and she told me she litterally had to get used to people calling out her ring not being a diamond. It is so rude and you just gotta stand tall and not let anyone take over your joy and happiness. I am sure this won’t be the first or the last time someone will make a snotty comment. So sorry your SO had to go through that
Post # 15
Thank you ladies so much. Reading your posts really helped me feel better. I’m currently on my phone can’t respond to individual posts but I truly appreciate all the reassurance!! I wasn’t doubting my choice I was just worried about my boyfriends feelings but if I’m happy he’s happy and we don’t need to let other people’s ignorance make us feel bad 🙂
lol to the person who said my boyfriend should say “what kind of fiancé would I be if I got her something you want instead of what she wanted” SO TRUE!!!! That’s hysterical and he’ll definitely use that! 🙂