Need to vent – “fake ring”

posted 12 months ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
41 posts
Newbee

I had a slightly similar experience where I knew for the past few years I didn’t want a diamond (learning about the De Beers cartel really turned me off) but when my boyfriend started looking a few months ago he started getting worked up about getting me a diamond because that’s what he thought he had to do. 

 

At the end of the day, a diamond is a stone like any other stone. I like moissanite because it’s sparkly, pretty and I like the way it looks and that’s the most important thing. And the fact that it’s a fraction of the price is even better. None of these people who make comments will be wearing the ring or being part of your marriage so their opinion really doesn’t matter.

Post # 17
Member
4535 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

fcm16 :  honestly OP, with rings you can never win. You’ll always get some snide comment from a rude person. Your ring is either too big, not big enough, too simple, too blingy, too trendy, too dated, the wrong stone,  too many small stones etc I say get what you personally love and eff the noise of others. Tell your fiancé as long as you both love it who the heck cares what others think and if they are rude enough to comment negatively learn to give them a look like you’ve smelt a bad fart and say ‘well that’s extremely rude. Why would you feel it necessary to say something like that?’ rude people fall to pieces and bluster when called out because most people never call them on their behaviour. Just call them out and move on. It’s just a pretty bauble with some sentimental value behind it. Don’t sweat it and tell your soon to be fiancé the same.

Congrats on the upcoming engagement and post your pretty here when you receive it so we can drool! ☺️

Post # 18
Member
633 posts
Busy bee

I’ve found that people who make those kind of comments are either painfully single or in a crazy toxic relationship, like they just don’t understand how a healthy and functional relaitonship works and how two adults make a decision like this together. I am in a similar boat as you that I knew what size I wanted but didn’t want to pay for the price tag of a diamond and as soon as I showed FH what that would cost us he was arguibly more excited than I was to get engaged (he was telling everybody when the ring was in the mail). But his best man made a comment a few weeks ago about our 10k wedding budget and said he would spend 10k on the ring alone and we were like well damn, what a waste of your time and savings, rings aren’t that expensive but he’s convinced that the girl he’s with will expect something like that.

Post # 19
Member
2780 posts
Sugar bee

People are stupid, tell your boyfriend not to listen to them.

If you want to reassure him you can tell him about how diamonds only became popular for engagement rings 100 years or so ago as the result of a marketing campaign by DeBeers 
https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how-an-ad-campaign-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/

And that they’re overvalued based on market manipulations (limiting supply & resale) and actually have limited intrinsic value
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/rohin-dhar/diamonds-are-bullshit_b_3708562.html

If people have a personal attachment to the idea of diamonds or prefer the way they look, that’s cool. They ARE beautiful and hold up well over time. But non-diamond engagement rings are far from being fake. 

Post # 24
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

fcm16 :  I have a moissy and received mainly compliments, but have received a couple of comments about a fake ring.  Most fake comments were ignorant male friends who didn’t mean anything by it haha, and a couple were from snide females. 

You gotta just let it roll of your back.  People are rude sometimes and you can either choose to ignore them, or say something back.  But don’t let it affect your opinions on the ring that you want.  

Post # 25
Member
21 posts
Newbee

I am getting moissanite and only came across it as an option because I was looking for socially conscious alternatives to diamonds. I wasn’t comfortable with A) the mining practice and dangers ie blood diamonds (although i know there are lab created safe diamonds etc), and B) the fake value diamonds have due to price fixing. I’m an accountant so this really irritated me! It was only because i DIDN’T want a diamond that i found moissanite, the lower price is just a bonus. My boyfriend was happy to get me whatever I wanted but as a fellow dork, he likes the story behind how moissanite was discovered. I am not sure whether I will be outright telling people other than close friends that my ring is moissanite. I’m definitely not ashamed of my choice but I don’t need to justify my choices to strangers and I dont need their input on whether they approve of my ring. 

Post # 26
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2021 - British Columbia, Canada

Good for you for sticking up for what you want, that person was super rude to your boyfriend. I personally don’t like diamonds and didn’t want my fiance to spend a ridiculous amount of money on my ring – he got me a gorgeous aquamarine that I’m in love with, but there were a couple of people that made comments about him cheaping out by not going for a diamond. My response was that the ring budget was roomy enough I could basically pick anything I wanted, but why overspend on something I didn’t even like because DeBeers grossly inflated the market cost? 

Post # 27
Member
2002 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Oh bee that sucks but hear it alot. I have a moissy to. Don’t let it hurt you bee. At least it’s cheap compared to real diamond.

Post # 28
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Oh jeez, people are so lame. Look, true story, the only people I know who actually care enough to make snide comments about somebody else’s tiny piece of fucking jewelry, are the people who only care about keeping up appearances and see every other female as a threat who must be belittled at all cost.

Don’t you you feel sorry for them?

Post # 29
Member
2667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

It makes me laugh when a woman specifically asks for an alternative ring. Her boyfriend plans to or picks out exactly what she wants. 

And then people act as if every women wants a perfect diamond solitaire. 

I’ve always wanted a bigger stone as well. And I think the diamond industry is despicable. I also love to reuse and recycle. So we chose a vintage sapphire halo engagement ring. I love it. It’s exactly what I want. 

And I still have people ask sometimes why my husband didn’t get me a diamond. 

Good for you for picking out what you like and what you think is beautiful. 

Post # 30
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee

It’s not fake, it’s a real moissanite, is all you need to say. 

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