Post # 1
Ugh, Ok I am have been trying to get over this, what I know is sillyness for over a week now, and its not working so I figured the best way would be for me just to get it out and vent to my fellow bees.
Ok so I was at work talking with another employee who is also engaged about wedding related things…we will call her Amy, when our rose lady (its a bar so she comes in and sells REALLY crappy roses to people for $5 each and when I say crappy I mean they still have thorns on them crappy) walks in on our conversation, and asks us about what flowers we plan on having at our wedding. Amy tells her all about the arrangements she plans on having (bouquet, bouts, ceramony decor, centerpieces, ect) and she nodds in appoval. Then the rose lady turns to me and asks me what I have planned for flowers. I am honest and tell her I have no intention on having any flowers at my wedding. She comes back with “Well what about your bouquet?” I tell her I dont plan on carrying one, I plan on carrying a parasol instead. She asks what a parasol is and I explain to her what one is adding in that it will be outdoors. She comes back with this: “Well thats just downright stupid! Whats the point of WASTING all that money if your not even going to have a real wedding? You have no business wasting your money on a wedding. Go to the courthouse sense you obviously have no clue how to have a proper wedding” Well this is where I got really upset. I controlled myself knowing I was at work and anything that was coming to mind would have ended with me in trouble so I just said. “Thats your opinion” And walked off.
I came home from work and tolled my Fiance all about what happened and he tried to cheer me up, but I just cant shake it for some reason.
Now I know that our wedding is a bit, well really offbeat. Very, very small, no flowers, Im wearing a colored dress, using a surfboard as a guestbook even tho we are getitng married in the woods, the list goes on. And I know and accept that not everyone will agree with what we have planned. But never in my life did I ever think someone would tell me to just go to a courthouse and not have a wedding because I didnt want a traditional element. I mean really how can someone be that cold?
Any ideas on how I can get over this? Anything like this ever happen to you?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I would have trouble shaking it too. I know it’s tough, but try not to let this stranger’s words bring you down. Your wedding is yours, not hers, and how you choose its elements is up to you and your Fiance and should be a reflection of both of you. If you don’t want flowers, you just don’t want them and that’s fine.
Post # 4
When it comes to people like that, I just think that they must be pretty miserable to say something like that to a stranger. Imagine how many other people she says stuff to every day, and know that she’s living in her own little sad world. Feel sorry for her, and don’t let it affect your planning. Everything you’re describing sounds GREAT! (((hug)))
Post # 5
What a rude woman! Really extreme.
Your wedding sounds amazing; I love non-traditional weddings that are a bit different – I have been soaking up rock n roll bride for ages!
Don’t let her get to you. Some people have no imagination.
Post # 6
Were not using flowers either and I’ve had countless people say “what about your bouquet”. I ignore it now… and if I were you I’d ignore her too… I’m so sorry they brought you down but the good side is that the wedding is about you and your Fiance not the flowers and what everyone else thinks… It’ll be fun and memorable to you because of the things you had that made it special to the both of you. Her opinion doesn’t matter and she won’t even be there. =)
Post # 7
Some people feel like they are doing the world a favor by spouting their bits of “honesty” and feel like, “well.. at least I spoke my mind!” when in all actuality they are just plain RUDE! So sorry to hear that, it would definitely grate my nerves, too!
You have heard this 1,000 times I am sure.. but your day really is about you, your SO and the celebration of your love and life together. Who gives a crap what you hold while you’re walking down the aisle? I have been in 2 weddings in the past year where there wasn’t 1 flower present.. everyone held a feather arrangement!
Post # 8
she actually sounds mentally ill, please dont let this mad woman get you down!!!!!
Post # 9
@solsticedark: I posted about something similar last week. Someone at my FI’s work told him that he shouldn’t ‘force’ me to have a destination wedding and take away my dreams of a big, white wedding since I was a little girl. Uh…we BOTH want the destination wedding!!
I’ve learned just to ignore people and I don’t even talk about my wedding in front of others unless they are my immediate family. We are not even talking about our wedding to FI’s parents, because we don’t need to hear their negative comments and how we are bad people because we are not getting married in a church.
You handled it best by saying ‘That’s your opinion’ and walking off. This kind of crap makes me crazy! I will never understand why events pertaining to others warrant opinions from people that are not.involved.
Post # 10
Thanks everyone *hugs* I actually do feel a bit better just letting it all out. And reading all your responces.
Post # 11
Ugh how terrible! Yes, I am having an off-beat wedding, too and have gotten a lot of flack for that recently. No wedding party, no flowers, under 50 people, etc. I have no idea why some people find it necessary to tell you what to you when you are planning a day around you and your FH. They have absolutely no say in that! I’m sorry this happened to you. 🙁