(Closed) Need to Vent (long)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Hi,

I never responded to your posts (don’t look at my post count this is my second account), but I’ve followed your struggles…

You WILL be ok. Stop looking at apartments with him if you won’t be signing the lease. That sends him mixed signals and lets him maintain the hope that you will go back on your word.

He does think you’ll stick around no matter what, because you have given him no reason to think otherwise, except for your words – just like he has done with his words…

Anyway; you will be ok, just, start putting yourself first for a while. You’re worth it. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You’re a very strong and beautiful lady, and you deserve a man that can’t wait to marry you. I’m sorry you’ve been through such a hard waiting process: waiting is hard enough without excuses.

Of course make sure you have a place to go, and keep your head up. Don’t budge on the things you want, even if he begs you to stay (without an engagement). Good for you for standing up for what you want in life.

And as far as the “I told you so’s,” we’ve all been there. We’ve all had that moment of enlightenment where we realize we need to take action or we’re going to be miserable. A lot of people are afraid to make changes so they can be happy…so take pride that you are taking control.

Good luck, girl. <3

Post # 6
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

No “I told you so” from me and Im very very sorry this isn’t working. I guess you got your confirmation that he doesn’t take you seriously. =/ I’m just so damn surprised that he honestly thought he could just let this slide and get away with it! It really looks like he’s just stringing you along. I don’t have any advice except take care of yourself and do what you have to do for you. I think Samantha from SATC said during a breakup “I love you, but I love me more.”

Post # 7
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

So sorry this is happening to you. Staying with your parents for a bit sounds like a good idea. Also, I would take the suggestion about not looking at anymore apartments. I am so, so sorry. Trust me, I’ve been there.

Post # 8
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Oh Gwen, I was so happy to see a post 5minutes ago from you and I did a quick search to see what was up with you and J. I don’t know what to say except that I wish you massive amounts of good luck.

Post # 9
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You should be proud of yourself for having the strength and courage to stick to your guns. I know it cannot be easy, but this seems like something you need to do for your own wellbeing. Stay strong and good luck.

Post # 10
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

WHAT!  Ugh.  I was so hoping your SO was getting his act together!  I’m glad you’re sticking to your guns though.  Thinking about you and my thread a couple weeks ago about living together before marriage have really hit home for me.  We’ve been together for over 6 years and have never lived together but I’m really wanting to now.  I’m thinking that if we do decide to live together, I won’t even start looking for a place with him until I’m engaged.

I really admire your strength right now.  I don’t know if I could handle it as well as you seem to be handling it! πŸ™‚

@Tunacupcakes: LOVE that quote from Samantha.  I try to live my life that way but it gets hard when you love someone almost as much as yourself!

Post # 11
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m sorry.  I think we really want to believe that things will work out when we love someone.  We really want to believe that they will follow through, that they are going to do what they say.  It takes a lot to realize that it isn’t always the case.  You deserve someone who wants to marry you!  Stay strong, you’ll figure it out, you will be fine!

Post # 12
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think you were naive at all!  You gave him the benefit of the doubt, nothing wrong with doing this!  I personally think that you’re a very strong woman with a good head on her shoulders.  I admire you for standing up for yourself and what you want in life. 

I wish the best for you.  Please vent here on the waiting boards any time you want! 

Post # 13
Member
298 posts
Helper bee

@GwenvonD: Gwen!  You are my lifeline!  I love your strength.  Your strength is feeding me right now.  I too broke up wtih my Boyfriend or Best Friend yesterday for the exact same reason.  Our 18 month anniversary came and he confirmed that I am still not the “one”.  It was also shattering for me Cry.  I was SO SURE he “knew” by now.  I am so upset I have not even posted it yet.  I am almost 32, he is 37.  We are “older” so I think 18 months is plenty of time.  Not for an engagement per se, but for an inclination that things will progress to marriage at some point.  I got neither.

It’s tough, but I am going through the exact same kind of anger that you are.  I am not heartbroken as much as I am ANGRY.  I also feel like an idiot for thinking that I could magically make him “see” my worth.  You have no clue how many hoops I jumped through to be more “perfect” for him.  I tried and tried to make him want me, but he didn’t.  It’s not his fault, it’s MINE.

You are sooooooo not alone!  Please PM me!  I will stay online in case you want to chat.  I know you have a lot on your plate.

There’s a part of me that feels at peace.  I hate thinking of him being “okay” without me.  I hate thinking of starting over at age 32.  I want another child very much.

One things is for sure… I will NEVER put myself through this again.  Neither will you.  It’s time for some self-love!  Spread the love!!!

 

Post # 15
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

@GwenvonD: You go girl!!  Nothing like a little shopping spree to make a lady feel better πŸ™‚  Looking good is the best thing you can do for yourself.  Hot all the way!!  I’m glad that you have good support surrounding you, and that your sister-in-law took you out shopping. Good for you.

Post # 16
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You’re a courageous and kick ass woman.  I know it’s hard for you right now, but it is good that you are putting YOU first and standing up for your dreams and needs. 

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