(Closed) Need to Vent (long)

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My advice, follow your brain and your heart, if you were here I would make you a huge cup of tea laced with brandy and give you a big hug.

Post # 33
Member
3311 posts
Sugar bee

*hugs* I am so proud of you for sticking to your principles and not going forward. Shame on him for dragging this out- you were upfront and clear. This ball is definitely in his court but I am so proud of you for sticking to exactly what you said- this will get his act in order soon enough.

Post # 35
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
@GwenvonD:  Take the few days, unless the Easter Bunny bring a ring by.  If he says he doens’t need time to think, then what does he need time for?  You said money shouldn’t be an issue.  Moving might be able to wait till August, right?  What’s the hold up?  If he wanted a TV, he’d save for it, barring any difficulties and he’d weigh the options of various TVs and then would pick one in time for the Super Bowl, a deadline.  If he was picking a new job, he’d weight the pros and cons of each, and either stick with what he knows because he likes it or is at least ocmfortable there, or he’d move to the new job and take his chances. 

If he knows he wants to be with you, then he needs to ask for your hand and start planning whatever exchange of vows you agree on, be it a Kate & William affair or a trip to Vegas.  I don’t get why men who say they want you in their lives insist on delaying… as if it makes the woman feel better about the relationship or something, as if keeping her insecure makes her a better companion, as if being indecisive makes for fun dinner converstaion.  Grr. (Sorry – it’s THAT week again).

What does he need more time for?  You’ve gone along with HIS schedule for the relationship each time you’ve moved before, each time you’ve been disappointed by him delaying.  When do you get to feel he’s respecting YOUR feelings, and YOUR schedule?  How could he let you go to all these showings and not understand, admit or acknowledge that you are expecting him to make good on his word and respect your wishes before picking out a new place?  How long does he want to keep you as just his girlfriend? 

Post # 37
Member
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry Gwen! I think he needs an ultimatum. He’s drug it out long enough. 

Post # 38
Member
2521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

View original reply
@GwenvonD: I know what you mean: nothing gets my mind off things like having needles stabbing color into my arms!

I hope everything works out for you. You’re a smart girl with a good head on your shoulders. He won’t know what he has til it’s gone!

Post # 39
Member
492 posts
Helper bee

Hey Gwen. We were looking for you. I’m so sorry that he’s broken yet another timeline/promise to you. I think what you’re doing is a wonderful idea. Time apart is definitely necessary. If he is STILL making excuses then only you will know what to do next. You know him better than any of us. I will say that although I do think he wants to marry you. He is definitely dragging his “cold feet” in my opinion. Don’t get into looooonnnnggg drawn out conversations with him about nothing. Only talk if you’re getting answers and coming to a conclusion. Good Luck.

Post # 40
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
@PrettySedity:  Good point about keeping the converesations direct and simple. 

Here’s to hoping Miss Gwen has a ‘hoppy’ Easter. 

Post # 41
Member
383 posts
Helper bee

Hi Gwen – hugs and pixie dust.  I’m in a similar relationship with a marriage shy commitment phobe.  I wanted to tell you I hope you’re doing okay. 

Best of luck

 

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