(Closed) Need to Vent *proceed with caution*

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
5895 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

foreverhome:  So many issues here…

You seem to think there is a magic formula for “making a guy marry you”. And I guess there is, but it isn’t the abracadabra magic that you think.

Step 1– get your sh!t together. That means your Internal World– go to therapy to deal with your childhood crap, learn CBT techniques to deal with your depression and anxiety, see a Psych Doc (not general practitioner) to see if medication will help you. Then your External World–get an education, find a career, become independent, have a hobby, exercise and a good group of firends

Step 2– Once you’ve done that, live an authentic awesome (not perfect) life. Date lots of guys to get a good idea of what you are looking for–reject more than you accept

Step 3– acknowledge that even after doing all of that, it’s a numbers game and can take time to find the right guy for you

Post # 3
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

Find a therapist who deals with these issues. There’s no “magic bullet” to make a guy want to marry you, but if you’re secure and stable in your own life, you’ll just be more attractive as a mate in general. Hugs.

Post # 4
4521 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

First step here is definitely therapy. You NEED it. My FI suffers from anxiety brought on by an emotionally abusive, narcissistic mother. His father really wasn’t there. Therapy has helped him see things so much clearer and take rhe necessary steps to remove himself from the relationships bringing him down. Therapy will help immensely if you find the right therapist. After you help yourself and your well-being, everything will start getting easier.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I do hope you take the necessary steps to feel better.

Post # 5
3051 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

foreverhome:  “I was slightly upset a few days ago, when it finally happened. I also have a sortof new guy in my life, but I guess it was a naturally progression after having had to wait for 8 years, and then when I met the new guy.., it seems that he is one that actually REALLY DOES want to be with me, but of course, my mom doesn’t approve of him…”

I’m confused. A few days ago, your BF of 8 years broke up with you, but you have a new guy in your life right now? 

You need to take time to yourself – stop dating or trying to date or thinking about marriage. Get to know yourself and be happy with yourself. Therapy would be a good idea. 

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