(Closed) Need to vent to girls who know what I'm going through

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@oneofthesethings:  I didn’t say it was cool. But if the thought of marriage is more important then the guy your with. Why does it matter who you marry as long as your married? (:

Post # 33
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

UltrasoundTech:  I think 30 is still young. I’m 32 and I know sometimes I feel kinda old but it’s really not impossible to have kids into your 40s now if you lead a healthy life.

Also sometimes I think real youth is more about the freedom to live how you want to than a set number of years.

Sometime I think people can be younger at 60 than they are at 30. I feel envious of some older people who seem less restricted in how they live than me.

I know several people who have married in their 50s and 60s who are very happy so wouldn’t restrict the choices you make based on your age. If you feel dismissed then don’t let that fester – talk to him, maybe spend some time apart and make him show you what he really wants.

Post # 35
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@mikarla:  I’m so, so glad that you’ve been able to talk it through and finally understand what was going on on his end. Did you also talk about the fact that if he had just communicated this from the very beginning that you would have been able to better understand and not feel as hurt? 

Post # 36
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@mikarla: Yay! I am SO happy for you that you guys had such a great discussion and are now on the same page!!

I just really wish this were something people talked about more, you know? Everyone knows that you’ll be dirt poor as a college student, so it’s expected and you’re somewhat prepared for it… but when you get your first job, you assume that moving expenses will be covered and life will be peachy keen and money won’t be tight anymore because you’re finally making money! That is SO not the case at first, it definitely takes time to get on your feet.

Maybe it’s the moving expenses that makes the big difference more so than the paying big bills for the first time, because I have at least three friends who are good with money, who got a great degree and were offered six-figure salaries right after graduating, and each of them had to relocate to take the position. Even these friends, who have nowhere near the amount of expenses now that things have settled down compared to what they are making– just months ago, they were college students living off of $15 a week!– but the move was tough, and it took probably 3-5 months for each of them to be able to put away money and feel like they weren’t just treading water between paychecks.

Anyway. Very happy to hear that the only thing holding him back at this point is money… that’s such a small issue compared to not being ready emotionally! You are only lucky bee =D!

Post # 37
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

in the same boat… going on 9 yrs this summer….. but my SO has given me a timeline of sometime this year, so im just trying to enjoy the waiting time.. sorry you are going thru this, i know that waiting can feel like forever and can get depressing at times… i would try having a discussin with him and ask him whats the hold up…. in a nicer way of course

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