- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
So I wrote an intro post a little while ago but I am still really trying to figure things out in terms of his timeline and am unable to talk to anyone about it IRL. So, here I am again!
Basically over the past month or so I have been totally obsessing over when we will get married. I have had a few discussions with him where I’ve made it clear that getting married is extremely important to me (since he would be happy married or not) and that I really need him to try to understand this. He has not been all that eager to have in-depth discussions about a timeline, but basically we have agreed that either it is happening within the next three years or it probably won’t happen at all (we have been together 2.5 years). I am fine with waiting that long since we are both only starting school this year so it just wouldn’t be practical otherwise. The thing that has been bothering me though is that he never really brings up the future in terms of me being his wife, he’ll just say things like “Maybe we’ll live in such-and-such a place in a few years…” or, “When we have kids…”
We got into a pretty tearful discussion the other night about how I am a lot more eager to get married than he is, even though we have pretty much set things up so that people are definitely expecting us to get married sometime in the not-so-distant future. The thing is, though, that we both really want to have children together someday (I would like that to be when we are married though) and he talks about this quite often, and a timeline for having kids, but gets freaked out about discussing a timeline for an engagement/wedding. Even his mom (who I adore, I will note) talks all the time about us having kids but never talks about us getting married (even though she is religious so it is important to her that we are married before procreating). I just don’t get it. I feel like no one in my life is at all rooting for me in this situation, since I hardly have any married friends and my whole family is atheist pretty much so they couldn’t care less about making a big deal of marriage. Anyway, I feel like I just don’t know how to broach the subject anymore and I don’t feel like it’s fair for me to just be quiet and wait a couple of years to see if this ends up happening. For god’s sake, I have told him numerous times that I don’t even care about an engagement ring, therefore he would not have to invest any money in proposing to me.
Just had to vent and so glad there’s a place that I can!