(Closed) Need to vent….thinking of changing our wedding date.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Have you and your fiance evaluated your finances? With what you’re bringing in now, can you formulate a plan to save up the amount of money you would need for a wedding you would be happy with? (Not necessarily the most amazing wedding ever or the wedding of your dreams, just a wedding that you would be happy to have.) Then you might adjust your date accordingly, or not.

Also, it sounds like along the way in the planning process your plans got bigger than you intended. There’s nothing wrong in my book with having a backyard BBQ and for you to wear a fancy wedding dress. A good friend of mine had a wedding reception for her friends in the back of a Game Parlor (they have bunches of tables in the back of their store where you can play boards games). She wore her wedding dress the whole time and we had a fabulous time. 

It is not a failure to adjust your date! Things like that happen all the time. 

If it were me, I would try to keep my date but downsize my plans to my current financial situation. I was most excited about being married and seeing my family and friends. But if it’s really not going to work on your current budget, then I formulate a financial plan and postpone. Good luck to you 🙂

Post # 4
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with chelseamorning. I would personally keep my date and downsize everything else. I LOVE backyard BBQ weddings. I find they tend to have more character and personality that your typical cookie-cutter weddings anyway. If you’re really uncomfortable with your fancy dress, you could always wear the dress for pictures before the ceremony, during the ceremony, and then purchase an inexpensive white sundress to wear at the reception. Something like the attached pictures.

Don’t sweat this stuff. You are NOT a failure. As chelseamorning said, these things happen all the time. But under the circumstances, I can totally see why you feel so much pressure. Downsizing everything will probably release some stress, too, and you’ll be able to relax a little and enjoy these next few months leading up to your wedding.

Good luck, whatever you decide!

[attachment=270161,31476] [attachment=270161,31477] [attachment=270161,31478] [attachment=270161,31479]

Post # 5
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would say it’s fine either way — if you want to change the date and have a traditional wedding, then go for it; if you want to keep it where it is and have a BBQ, do it; if you want to move it and have the BBQ, go ahead! =) There’s nothing wrong with a more formal dress at a BBQ…sure, you’ll stand out, but isn’t that what a bride’s supposed to do?!

Also, I totally understand the frustration that goes with not getting paid for a job. Ugh! Does your fiance have any of the original documentation to compare with the end result, and did the customer sign a waiver? If so, then he may have the legal rights to demand payment.

Post # 6
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I REALLY REALLY am sorry you are hurting.  BELIEVE ME you feel the same way I ahve felt many many times.  This september we are finally getting married on our 4th try.  Every time we got a date set and started doing all the plans I got sick and ended up in the hospital and there went our wedding.  Oh and we didn’t have a big wedding planned either, but even little weddings can add up to a lot of money.  So yes I know the whole feeling like a failure for sure.  Now we are down to just the two of us, we just can’t afford the wedding.  But I think our greatest regret is not getting married october 6th 2007.  I look back now and just with we would have done something small and kept our date.  It is suppose to be a day of joy and not of worry and frustration, so do whatever you need to do to make it a day of joy for the both of you:) 

  But hey don’t feel like a failure it is hard especially today to afford these thing and if youa re like us and have to do everything on your own it is even harder.  SOOOO I say do waht you want and if it is the BBQ, Rock that fancy dress:)

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