- 5 years ago
I had a core group of 3 friends: let’s call them A, B, and C.
These are friends I’ve had since I was a child… friendships ranging from 25-30 years. A couple years ago, I would have told you these were my best friends in the whole world and nothing would change that.
From time to time, between the 4 of us friends, certain couplings of friends would be closer than others – but we all stuck together.
Update to last year: Friend A told me she didn’t want to be friends anymore. We’d grown apart over the last couple years and in a nutshell dissolved the friendship.
Friend A is still friends with B and C – and I am still friends with B & C.
I have no problem when A is around at larger gatherings where we’d both be naturally invited. Such an event has transpired and it was fine.
The problem is: we had this annual gathering where the 4 of us would get together (with spouses/kids). It’s rare for all of us to be together at one time – of the 4 of us, we’d either hang out in different combination of 2’s or sometimes 3.
I didn’t think the annual gathering would happen this year, because of the friendship break. But, Friend B really wanted to make it happen. I told here I’d feel weird about seeing Friend A, but I’d get over it. She told me she’d run interference (it would be for a meal together).
Friend B sent out an email to everyone about getting together. Everyone reply-all’d except for Friend A. She replied to B and C and dropped me off of the communication. In that, she told B and C she’d be fine with having it if I was ok with it… which annoyed me because she could have easily reply-all’d to it and asked me herself.
Now the get together is getting more complicated (with scheduling etc) and, quite frankly, I’m over it.
I’m finding myself getting annoyed at Friend B for wanting to make this get-together happen, when she knows that Friend A ‘broke-up’ with me.
So now I’m wanting to backout all together. I have and maintain my friendships with B and C – and if the 3 of them want to get together – more power to them.
But, I’m also thinking I’m overreacting at this point, and – since I agreed to it originally, should just go through with it…. but I can’t help but find myself getting frustrated at Friend B for trying to make it happen (I think she feels that Friend A and I will reconcile at some point – Friend B went through an unsimilar rift with Friend A where they didn’t talk for several months and they’ve since made up) so I’m guessing she feels like our thing will blow over.
What would you do?