(Closed) Need your advice and knowledge!! Meeting with the Priest this Friday!

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You are right in that you can’t have a catholic wedding outside of a church. What you are talking about “blessing” is a convalidation but it happens AFTER the wedding. 

You could have a small morning catholic wedding and then do a “guest invited wedding” at the venue later… but you would be legally married at that Catholic ceremony.

I’m afraid those are your two options. The best is to just have a Catholic wedding in the church or get married before the “wedding day” festivities in the church.

Post # 5
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@lauramuse: Meeting the priest is so hit or miss. All we did was talk, tell him how we met and a little about ourselves (well, mainly me as Darling Husband has been at this parish for his entire life), and took the FOCUUS test… that was it. Just paperwork and small talk.

Most likely you would have a non-mass wedding, but you would still have all the parts of the mass except communion. So there will be the 2 readings, gospel, homily, rite of marriage, lords prayer, intentions, and closing blessings… In short, a wedding 🙂

Make sure you also talk to whomever is doing your “secular” wedding. There could be legal things I’ve known officiants to balk over and not bring up until day of. “What do you mean you’re legally married? I can’t do/say something?” Just be upfront that you will be legally married but wish to have a ceremony and vows. There just MIGHT (not sure) be something where they can’t say “I now pronounce you” etc. but be upfront and you’ll be fine.

Post # 6
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

…until we weighed the odds and would just feel better about having a small ceremony/blessing (basically where it is just the vows) with us and our parents so that we are married FIRST in the Catholic Church then have the “wedding day” at the events center the following weekend.”

 

Actually, you can’t do that.  There are only three forms of a Catholic wedding, and all require a 30 minute or more ceremony, including readings from the Bible, prayers, and a blessing.  This is the form that most likely applies to your situation (and is the shortest):  http://foryourmarriage.org/rite-for-celebrating-marriage-outside-of-mass/

 

As far as KLP’s comments, I agree fully with letting the secular officient know the situation.  Many states have laws against performing a marriage ceremony without a wedding license in hand (which you can’t get if you are already married).  These laws are intended to prevent gay marriages in states where gay marriage is illegal (also polygamist marriages in some states where that is common).  So the marriage ceremony has to be changed from a wedding ceremony to a vow renewal (using different wording) in that situation.  Since Florida doesn’t recognize Common Law Marriage, I have a feeling that you might need a license to hold a wedding ceremony.

Also, (and it’s a minor thing) – this wouldn’t be your fiance’s last sacrament.  The Catholic Church has 7 sacraments (Baptism, Reconcilliation, Eucharist, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders, Last Rites) and since it is difficult (though possible) to both be married and become a member of the clergy, it’s rare that people receive all 7 (also, unless he’s been in a near-death situation he probably hasn’t received Last Rites). 

Post # 7
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

One other thing since this hasn’t been mentioned… You can get married in the Catholic Church at your events center (best of both worlds!)

To do this, you need a “Dispensation from Canonical Form”.  This is permission from the bishop to get married anywhere (including in your events center).  Once you have this, you get married in the events center by a secular official and that counts as a Catholic wedding (you just send the church a copy of your marriage license).

So how do you get a Dispensation from Canonical Form?  You ask a priest and the priest asks a bishop. So what’s the catch?  They don’t give those out for any old reason.  You need a good reason to justify why you’re not getting married in a church.  “The events center is pretty” or “I already paid for the events center” or “It would be a pain to go from the church to the events center” are not good reasons.  “While I respect the traditions of the Catholic Church, my father is a Baptist minister and it is important to me and my religion that he marries us.” is a better reason (as is anything framed around your Baptist beliefs and not around aesthetics or cost). 

Post # 8
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with CatholicBee.  A dispensation from canonical form might be the best option for you. 

I got a dispensation from canonical form.  I wasn’t Catholic at the time I was married and it was important to my parents that I was married in our church.  We really didn’t have to do much to get the dispensation, we just let my FI’s priest know that is what we wanted to do and he took care of all the paperwork with the diocese.  We still had to do regular pre-Cana.  We then held our wedding in my parent’s Baptist church with a Baptist minister and cermony…but the ceremony was considered a valid Catholic Sacrament.

The only caution is the one CatholicBee has mentioned.  We were allowed to do this because it was important to my parents that we be married in the church I grew up in.  I don’t know if you would be able to obtain a dispensation just to be marrried in a specific venue. 

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